Skins retro recap (3.08): “Effy”


Some twats come a-callin’ at the petrol station and Katie flirts her way into some directions to Gobbler’s End. One of the Road Wankers follows Katie into the store (which is staffed with exactly zero employees) and pretends he’s going to molest her, ’cause that’s about the funniest joke! Why aren’t you laughing, teenage girl? Pretending to force sex on someone is a hoot! Katie runs screaming from the store where the other Road Wanker is randomly shooting a random rifle at a random target. Katie’s screech causes him to miss and he goes from eccentric to horror movie in 1.3 seconds. Effy’s like, “And I thought my head was a wreck!” The Scooby gang bounces and the Road Wankers try to run them off the road, but it’s just another one of their funny jokes. Like rape. A real riot, those guys! A laugh a minute!

They finally make it to Gobbler’s end and are all amazed at the wilderness-ness of the wilderness. (Well, except for Naomi and Emily, who are well acquainted with the wonder of the woods.)

And here’s where we have to start keeping score. Katie “took” Freddie from Effy, already.

Effy and Panda hold hands and are adorable until Katie takes Panda away too so they can spin in giggle about how they’ve never boned Cook. (Half-truth.)

Effy wanders off to lie in the leaves looking for all the world like the enchanted Goddess of the Grove. Seeing her here, this haunted oracle, it’s not hard to believe that she really does have a siren call; not hard to understand that she’s the rock against which a million sailors will crash their ships.

She spots some mushrooms. She grins.

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