At Freddie’s shed, there’s a surprise a-waitin’ and that surprise is Katie Fitch. She’s in Freddie’s lap all smiles and Barney-colored socks and when Effy opens the door Katie actually says, “I’m not being funny. You look like microwaved shit; what’s up?” Freddie is sort of abashed, but he’s smoked so much weed that it takes him five times longer than a regular human being to respond to regular human shit, and before he can even process the actual awkwardness of the situation (or ask Effy what hair products she’s into because wouldn’t that be a nice look for him next year?) Katie’s mouth has taken over: “We want to ask you something … ” “We’re having a party …”
Katie wants Effy to drive them all to Gobbler’s End for the opposite of a pikey howdown. Real grown up stuff now that she’s part of a real couple. (We, we, we, us, us, honey, we.) Then she hops up and suggests a shower, which is just about the most selfish thing Katie has ever done. Clearly there is one person in this shed who needs to rinse off and it is not her and Freddie. How about a little hospitality, Katiekins? Hmm? You’re the Lady of the house now, are you not?
Freddie says he’ll be along shortly and Katie eyes them both suspiciously — which is the moment you know she knows her imaginary narrative is held together with previously chewed bubblegum and toilet tissue. Once she’s gone Freddie tells Effy she should come. She says, “You want me to come?” Which is about as loaded as you get. She says, “I came here to tell you something.” And it’s just so Effy: Always the truth without ever revealing anything.
On the road to Gobbler’s End we get our first glimpse at Naomi and Emily, and this is one of those times in S3 when Lily Loveless is just stunning. This episode. The transition in her wardrobe and makeup and hair — softer and softer and softer and gets closer and closer and closer to Emily — is just about the best thing. The gang stops for some petrol and Katie explains here entire character in one sentence. Effy goes, “You sure this is the right way?” And Katie says, “It’s what the map says!”
And isn’t it just? “I wanted the perfect boyfriend, the perfect marriage, everything.” (It’s what the map says!) Funny, isn’t it, how Katie and Effy spend this entire episode destroying each other’s narratives only to come full-circle and teach each other they can go off-map and write whatever story they want? (“I don’t know who I am anymore [without the map].” “I thought you were Katie F–king Fitch, [no map needed].”)
To (future) wit: