“Skins” Retro Recap (3.07): “JJ”


Next on his non-stop, day-long tour of Bristol, JJ goes to Cook’s dorm room. He spies Panda there, all grotesquely post-coital (Why, Panda Pop? Why??) but hides so she can’t see him. He has a little bit of a tantrum in Cook’s room, but Cook hugs it out with him and they bounce to buy gear. They almost get busted, though, and Cook pushes JJ one step too far with his assholery. JJ feeds him STUN — but if he really wanted to get back at Cook, he should have given him vitamin C and a Coke.

Outside the club, Effy is leaning against the wall, bored with life, until Naomi breaks through the queue — makes a Naomtrance, Rophy would say — and asks Effy if she’s OK. Effy shrugs, not even sure what OK feels like anymore. Naomi inquires after James Jimmy Cook. Effy says, "Why would there be a Cook?" Naomi says she thought they were seeing one another and Effy clarifies that they are occasionally fucking each other. And this — God, this is so heartbreaking, how the goddamn genius Naomi Campbell needs basic emotional shit explained to her: "There’s a distinction?"

And her eyes. She’s not asking about Effy and Cook. Not at all. Not even a little bit. She’s not even being rhetorical. Naomi is so mindfucked about what she has allowed Emily to become to her that she honestly needs an answer to the question. They slept together, her and Emily. Emily made a believer out of her that one night. But if there’s a distinction, maybe Naomi can still save herself.

Effy flips it back around and enquirers after Emily Fitch. Naomi says, "Why would there be an Emily?" And then immediately: "That obvious?" She says she’s straight. Effy asks her if she’s sure. Naomi asks if she’d regret it if she said no, and Effy goes, "Probably. But not because of me."

Not "probably you’d regret it because there’s something wrong with not being straight," but "probably you’d regret it because if you say you’re not straight it means you really are in love with Emily, and love that big will ruin you." The monster in Effy and Naomi’s closet is the same. The difference is: Naomi’s is a lot cu.

Naomi says, "We’re objects of lust." And yeah, you are.

But you’re also objects of love.

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