“Skins” Retro Recap (3.01): “Everyone”

 
 

Cook sets some sh-t on fire because that is his thing, and the Three Muskaters — plus Panda, who has narrowly escaped her cosmetics class — join form BD1 in Kieran’s class, where he wants them to stand up and say something about themselves.

So: JJ has an incredible aptitude for maths, but is shite at interpersonal
communication. Katie has never not had a boyfriend since she was seven.
Emily has never had a boyfriend. Naomi hates injustice, and people tell
lies about her. Effy is pretty sure her mum is having an affair.
Freddie met a girl he likes today.

(In case you missed it, here’s the first Loveless LipBite™ of series three.)

But anyway, that’s really boring, guys! Some of you had spliff and lager for breakfast! Rophy, why don’t you tell us what we really need to
know about Gen Two.

"Hi, I’m JJ, and I’m not worthy of the love Heather Hogan so graciously bestows upon me. No, seriously, I’m just not."

"Hi,
I’m Katie F-cking Fitch and I’m helping Effy to be the gayest out of
the kindness of my heart, and also because I like to mess with my
sister, and also because Effy is hot stuff."

"Hi, I’m Emily. I met a girl I like when we were
twelve. She’s like … beautiful. And she says she has a great, big strap-on."

"Hi,
I’m Naomi, I hate injustice, I wish you weren’t going to try to make
out with me, Kieran. And then have sex with my mother. And then shown me your
bare bottom. It’s a little awkward. Especially considering I like
GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!" *shimmies*

"Hi, I’m Effy and I’ll never be the gayest. I also go crazy and try to kill myself eventually. You do the maths."

"Hi, I’m Freddie. Emily kind of stole my line, but… anyway… I’ve written a poem…"

(For more Sophia LOLs, check out Rophy’s 3.01 recap!)

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