“Skins” Retro Recap (3.01): “Everyone”


Well, calorically [lager is] up there with 392 energy units, which is nothing on the Snickers I’m having, which has the additional drawback of 28 grams of fat. Although I can call upon 1.2 grams of fiber, which doesn’t feature in your lager. However, you could argue in some sense, that hops constitute one of your five a day.

I literally had this exact conversation with my brother-in-law this week when he was explaining to me that it’s perfectly acceptable to rehydrate after mountain biking with a pint or two because hops have protein and protein builds muscle and building muscle is necessary for top cyclists. So, obviously I believe what JJ is saying. [Rophy says: You would, you filthy JJ lover.]

So anyway, there they are, your Three Musketeers. Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno! Literal translation: All for one, one for Effy.

Cook says the day is pregnant with possibility and that he’s not moving from this table — with his mates and his lager and his spliff — until he receives a message from a higher being.

Across the street, a car hits the bike abandoned by the policeman who fell into the garbage truck. The car screeches across the road and slams into a safety pole near the boys’ table, and the driver jumps out and starts swearing to beat the band. On the passenger’s side, Effy Stonem lights a cigarette, looks out the window, exhales smoke, and goes, "Did someone say ‘higher being?’"

There is some discussion between JJ and Freddie about who, exactly, Effy is looking at, but before JJ can finishing extolling the virtues of the body parts he’s sure she possesses (hair, eyes, breasts, nipples), Cook has splayed ketchup across his face and is stumbling up to Mr. Stonem with a whole pantomime about how he just crashed into him on his bike.

When her dad gets distracted screaming at whatever passing pedestrians, Effy sliiiiiiides out of the car, saunters over to Cook, and tastes the ketchup on his cheek. "Sweet," she says, and — pow! — collective Three Musketeer boner.

Guess what? They’re going to Roundview today, after all.

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