“Skins” recap (4.08) Naomily, A History


Panda has an assortment of musical instruments in her bag — which neither Katie nor Effy question, because of course she does — and she tells Effy that she wrote her a song.

When the techo-zazz of Panda’s song started bopping and Panda opened her mouth to sing, I confess that I shut my eyes because I freaking hate Glee — but then, like the Who Christmas music to the Grinch’s ears, the true meaning of Panda’s song shone through, and my heart grew to the size of ten Grinches (plus two).

And how could it not?

Some days are disasters,
that you wish could just end
Other days are b–tards,
just like a bad boyfriend

But it makes me feel much worse than this
to see your face masked with a frown
I’m not telling you to smile, but don’t be down.

Don’t be down, my friend
Don’t do your wrist any harm
You don’t belong on a funny farm

And I’d rather see you in a party dress
than in a hospital gown
I’m not telling you to smile
but don’t be down.

Your assumption that I ripped this song to my iPod as an MP3 and have added it to my running mix is correct.

After a while, the party breaks up and good ol’ Dr. F-ckster comes ’round to tell Effy’s he’s leaving his job at the hospital to become a full-time serial killer. She tells him she’ll never forget him, and he says, “No, you won’t, Elizabeth.” And tick-tock-tock-tock-blah-blah-blah.

Let’s go ahead and deal with the last scene of the episode because I’m officially done with this idiot.

So, tomorrow night, Cook is going to take a whiz in the bushes outside Freddie’s shed because the dude will literally pee anywhere. And F-ckster is going to come skulking through the alley for whatever dumb reason. He wants to get a jump-start Generation 3 by axe-murdering Karen, probably. He’ll see Cook and scurry away, and Cook will follow him, break into his basement and find Freddie’s bloody clothes, which have conveniently been labeled “Freddie’s bloody clothes.”

F-ckster will then pull out his trusty baseball bat — don’t you guys play cricket? — and Cook is going to go, “Oh, you think you’re unhinged? Brother, have you ever watched this show? I’m unhinged. And this is the part where I end you.”

And I think that pretty much sums it up. Nice acting by Jack the Lad, as always.

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