“Skins” recap (4.04): Katie F–king Fitch and Who the F–k Are You?

Katie’s phone alarm reminds her that she’s got to get her pregnancy test on, so she bounces. "Hen night tonight!," she says. "Sluts and studs!" And Brandy’s mum looks on, like, "Aww, sluts."

At the clinic, Katie finds out she’s not pregnant, but her relief turns to dismay and then heartbreak when the doctor tells her she’s going through premature menopause, which means she’ll never be able to have kids. Outside, her boyfriend celebrates (and dances) like a tosser so she dumps him with a distinctly British turn of phrase I love. Instead of saying, "I don’t want to date you anymore." Or "I think we should break up." She just goes, "You’re dumped." Like, it’s not a hypothetical or some kind of future probability; it’s a fact. It just happened. You’re dumped.

He kicks a pole and breaks his toe and she steps over him and keeps walking.

At a perfectly-framed scene in the park, Katie makes her go-to phone call to Emily because all she really wants to do is fall apart, but Emily doesn’t answer. Katie calls her a bitch and hangs up and you can actually hear the cracks start to form in her heart. Losing something you thought you might want some day is one thing. Losing something you’ve never lived without is entirely another. She limps home and is pitiful, but — surprise! — Jenna doesn’t notice because — double surprise! — Rob has lost all their money and hidden the foreclosure notices under a sofa cushion.

Isn’t it amazing how Jenna tells the guy on the phone that she hasn’t seen any paperwork from the bank, but then she immediately lifts up the cushion? Like, she totally sensed that they were under there. Rob Fitch has got to be the only man on the planet who would hide his secrets in the sofa more than once.

Katie is putting on another costume to the haunting guitar and violin of "Save Me From Myself," which is all about how life is complicated and tempestuous and she’s hard on the outside, but kind of a marshmallow on the inside. And it’s perfectly depressing because of how Emily was always the one saving Katie from herself and now Katie is having to save everyone from themselves. Downstairs her mum says she looks amazing and the whole family’s existence is riding on whether or not she can pull off the hen night.

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