Last week, American Horror Story kicked off its second season with what I assume was a lot of blood and guts and terrifying Ryan Murphy-esque continuity murder. I say “assume” because I am the biggest pansy in Pansy Town and therefore cannot even watch a trailer for this show. (Even so, Elaine Atwell‘s recaps are glorious.) What I do know about AHS is that it features four AfterEllen.com favorites this year, so it’s time to put them to the Shag, Marry, or Dump (or Mistress!) test. Who do you choose between Clea Devall, Chloe Sevigny, Sarah Paulson, and Jessica Lange?
(*Based on research conducted by me when I surveyed myself.)