Lauretta takes Evan to a bar, where he meets a cute blonde named Hillary. “I’ve never met an Evan I didn’t like,” she says, batting her lashes. Evan decides that the proper course of action is to walk away. Lauretta tries to push him to get her number, but he refuses, just to spite her. I think that Evan has reached the point of singlehood where inertia has taken over, and he’d rather just sit at home at night in peace eating cheese doodles in his underwear. Honestly, it’s not a bad existence. Just sayin’.
Next, Olivia shows up at a bar in a low cut dress, and, for some reason, a bunch of single attractive doctors are just hanging around like sitting ducks. No, this wasn’t staged at all. One of the ducks asks Olivia what she does. “I write about science, physics and laser technology,” says Olivia. Helen looks mortified. She had instructed Olivia to limit the nerd speak earlier. Well what is she supposed to say? She dances in a circus troupe? She’s in the CIA? She smuggles illegal immigrants for a Mexican cartel? But Dr. Duck replies, “That’s awesome.” They exchange numbers, and Helen has another victory under her belt.
Helen brings Meredith and Jonathan together to a “Let’s talk about Jonathan and Zach” pow wow. Jonathan is not amused. Despite his outgoing demeanor, he prefers to keep his personal life private. “Bitch, how dare you?!” says Jonathan to the camera. He stomps away, leaving Helen hitting herself in the head and Meredith wondering how she ended up on this ridiculous show. You can see her thoughts just by looking at her eyes: Calgon, take me away!
Next is round three for Evan and Lauretta. Evan stubbornly states that he won’t be bullied into getting women’s numbers by Lauretta. If he had any sass whatsoever, he’d be snapping his fingers, rolling his neck and whipping his curly locks around, but he doesn’t, so he just sounds ineffectual. Besides, that’s Lauretta’s job, stupid. Help her help you.
Evan talks to two girls: a blonde and a brunette. Evan notes that they are both “10s.” Lauretta eggs him on to get the brunette’s number, and he gives in. Lauretta emits an operatic howl and actually does the happy dance. Then she tells Evan to get the blonde’s number as well. Surprisingly, he does not put up a fight, and Lauretta can go back to Renee with a two for one special.
The episode ends with a team meeting over drinks. When will Renee learn that alcohol only fuels the wildfires of drama like the Santa Ana winds? Jonathan arrives late, and immediately, Helen suffers from a bout of diarrhea of the mouth, apologizing to Jonathan for telling Meredith about his relationship troubles. Lauretta jumps in and tells Jonathan that she isn’t sorry for him, because he did the same thing to her. She says to the camera, “Jonathan, karma is a bitch!”
The situation only gets worse from there, as Lauretta hisses at Helen, “You’re going to be single for the rest of your life!” Helen responds by yelling, “Shut up! Your weave is too tight right now!”
Finally, Renee stands up and bellows, “This isn’t the team that I built!” before sashaying away. Has she given up? Is she leaving the team behind? Should we interpret this as, “Frankly, my dears, I don’t give a damn”?
Ah, well. Tomorrow is another day.