In a move that may prove way too meta for the Joe Six Packs and hockey moms of this country, rumors are swirling that Sarah Palin will be appearing on Saturday Night Live to spoof Tina Fey, who, as you know, was single-handedly responsible for reigniting the show’s popularity by playing Palin.
Is your head exploding yet? What will happen if the two bespectacled giants do end up meeting at the offices of 30 Rock? Will the mavericky pit bull in lipstick approach her doppelganger with her trademark folksy candor, before threatening to crack her skull with a flying hockey puck or a hunting rifle?
Sarah Palin: “Hi, Tina. Can I call you Tina?”
Tina Fey: “Sure.”
Sarah Palin: “Doggone it, Tina. Those impressions of me sure have those SNL ratings jumpin’!”
Tina Fey: “Say it ain’t so.”
Sarah Palin: “By golly, even as the Dow falls like a moose staring down the barrel of my rifle, SNL ratings are blowing up, kind of like what I’d like to do to Russia and Iran! And gee whiz, it’s all because of you, Tina! You really aredoing heaven’s work!”
Tina Fey: “Well, I’d like to hope that humor is recession-proof.”
Sarah Palin: “If, no — WHEN — I become VP, maybe I’ll make you an economic adviser. You can be my African witch hunter to the U.S. markets! Because, Tina, everything you touch turns to gold.”
Tina Fey: “Wow, I am flattered, but I’m not sure if appointing me as an economic advisor is sound policy.”
Sarah Palin: “Oh, shush — so modest! The great Ronald Reagan was an actor, too. And by golly, you bright and shiny thing, how does it feel to be so doggone popular? You’re even number 1 on a website for lesbians. How does it make you feel to be number 1 on a website for such people, who, by the way, I fully tolerate? I’m not number 1 on a website for those people! Why are you so popular? Why are you more popular than I am? Why? Am I not doing heaven’s work too?”
Tina Fey: “Uh, I can see the whites of your eyes. You are scaring me.”
Sarah Palin: “Tell ya what! If you do another impression of me, I’ll take ya moose huntin’ in good ol’ Wasilla. And unlike Dick Cheney, bless his sweet but strugglin’ little heart, if a bullet happens to hit ya, it won’t be an accident. You get my drift, darlin’?”
Tina Fey: [Starts backing away.] “Nice meeting you.”
This Saturday’s SNL is scheduled to be a rerun, but if the rumors are true, Palin may appear on the show’s spinoff, Weekend Update Thursday, which will debut this week on NBC at 9:30 ET. . However, cast member and writer Seth Meyers has dispelled these rumors, saying that Palin will not be appearing on the show this Thursday, although he indicated that she may appear on the show later this month.
The Chicago Sun-Times reported that if she does appear, Palin may be spoofing Fey’s American Express ads.
I have an idea for this spoof as well:
The original ad: Tina Fey meets Martin Scorsese at the airport, who tells her that he has a great opportunity for her and asks her to follow him into the VIP lounge. She attempts to enter the lounge, but she is rebuffed at first, because she is flying coach. Then she flashes her American Express Platinum card, whereupon she is allowed to enter.
Spoof: Sarah Palin flashes her credit card at the flight check-in counter at the Anchorage airport and discovers that she is on the government’s No Fly List. She is then relegated to staying in Alaska, far, far away from the rest of the 49 states, where she cannot harm anything but polar bears.
Someone call SNL and submit this, pronto!