Sarah Haskins wants women to rename their ladyparts

 
 

Nicknames for male genitalia are vast and furious, and if you’ve seen Superbad you can certainly attest to the amount of laughs incited by penis humor. Guys have been at it for years — making their junk front-page news and a long-time center of comedy.

Aside from modern Seth Rogen flicks, epic classics such as Grease 2 (do you know what a pistol is?), Pecker and Teen Witch (classic classroom antics!) have also used penis humor to their advantage. Even Jason Segel dropped trou for laughs in his self-penned flick Forgetting Sarah Marshall and let’s not get started on Sacha Baron Cohen’s popularizing of the “banana hammock.”

However, when it comes to women’s parts, portrayal is a little more taboo and even unintentionally hilarious. Have you ever seen a grown man sit through a tampon commercial or cringe at the sound of the phrase “sanitary napkin”? Awkwardly amazing.

Well, us ladies have a few new champions on our side to help bring lady-part nomenclature awareness to the frontlines. Alongside Lady Gaga’s valiant effort to popularize “muffin,” we’ve got Oprah and Tyra Banks endorsing the use of “Vajayjay.”

Now there’s cult comedienne extraordinaire Sarah Haskins, who addresses the way our ladyparts are euphemized in commercials in her always-hilarious Infomania bit Target: Women. (Didn’t I mention fairly recently about how montages of women having fun remind me of feminine hygiene product commercials? How about a montage of a montage of feminine hygiene product commercials!)

Watch Sarah Haskins on ladyparts:

I love it when the guy says, “Oh not again!” when the girl faints as he suggests they see Vagina Monologues”. I don’t personally understand how lawn mower and water rodent references (not to mention the very earnest implication that our “bushes” are destined to be exquisitely manicured topiaries) are any less offensive than a biologically accurate term, but for now, I’m going to join in on the naming fun. Challenging my inner potty mouth, here are some other suggestions that she hasn’t brought up yet (stop me if you’ve heard them), but Sarlacc the Sand Pit from Return of the Jedi? I don’t think I can top that.

Some ideas: Lawrence of A Labia; Little Jackie; Honey Pot; Hannah Montana; Mini Sirloin Burger (for all of you Jack in the Box fans. How about, Jack in the Box? No?)

I would like to challenge your inner potty mouth and please feel free to add onto this embarrassingly small list. I still think “crotch” is pretty funny, however, anyone who knows me knows that I have a penchant for old lady slang. I’m going to be PC here and say that I actually don’t mind the word “vagina.” “Vulva” is a little weird, but vagina? Not so bad, but, to me, anything’s better than beaver.

 
 

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