Last night, my TV broke my heart. And then it reached in and put a string of lights around it. First, Melinda Doolittle was kicked off American Idol. I know, I know, you all told me that would happen, but I was foolishly holding out hope. After that travesty, I was dejected and glum and ready to be old, bitter and over TV altogether. But then, like a disaffected superhero in a cape made of snark, Samantha Bee swooped into her seat at The Daily Show to talk about "News I’d Like to F—."
“I’m a NILF hunter. And the 24-hour news networks are my Serengeti.”
Let’s start with the genius of the NILF concept: Newscasters are expected to be attractive — especially the female ones (just ask Katie Couric). But how does that help you understand the news, exactly? Well, if you’re Samantha Bee, the point is not to understand but to appreciate. See for yourself:
"Take CNN. Their coverage has proved that war is hell—lloooo, ladies!"
The idea is brilliant enough, but the Daily Show masterminds went that extra step, as only they can: They put the piece in the hands of a woman. If Rob Riggle (that overgrown high school football player) or Jason Jones (that douchebag who doesn’t deserve to be married to Bee) had delivered these comments, they would have been annoying at best, and probably offensive. But Bee made me want to put on some thigh-high "scoop me" boots, draw a steamy bath and inform the s— out of myself.
And remember: "Fox is the Hustler of news networks." Thank you, Samantha. I already loved you, but now I’m going to have to stalk you.