When a friend recommended makeup artist Romi Klinger for a shoot I was working on, I instantly recognized the name – not as a production contact, but as a two-season cast member of The Real L Word. Granted, the only episode I watched was from Season 1, when she had on-camera sex with Whitney Mixter, so my impression of Romi was based mostly on that one crazy scene.
By the time the shoot was over, I had gotten to know the Real Romi, and not Reality Romi. (For the record, Real Romi is very professional and great to work with!) And so, I kept asking myself, “How and why did this nice, down-to-earth girl end up on a reality show?” I decided the best way to find out was to simply ask her, so I did. We ended up talking about that, and a whole lot more.
AfterEllen.com: What made you decide to be on The Real L Word?
Romi Klinger: I had just starting to date Whitney [before they began taping Season 1.] I wasn’t sure what this show was, but I didn’t care because I really liked her. When they started shooting, I was a bit turned off by it. I didn’t want to sign up or jump on board. But then one day, I said “F-ck it. I like this girl and I can go with this, or not.” I am pretty much an open book as it is, so I put my life and my emotions for Whitney out there for the world to see. Who knew that day would change so much of my life?
AE: The cast received criticism and judgment, as most reality show people do. How do you respond to that?
RK: Since Season 1, I have heard all kinds of criticism. You can’t please everyone. I am honest with who I am on and off camera. There has been a lot of great support since Season 2. For the new cast, it might have been shocking to see how the final show was edited, but I was prepared after last season. It’s a show, at the end of the day. What they do with that footage is up to them. I laugh it off and don’t let any of it get to me. I can’t.
AE: Last year, I saw the Season 1 episode where you had pretty graphic sex on camera with Whitney. Afterward, I Googled you to see if you had made a public statement, which you had. I really loved your positive response. Care to reiterate it here?
RK: Whitney and I had the famous strap-on scene in Season 1 that brought a lot of attention to me, not all of it positive. As far as sex with Whitney on Season 1, and sex with Kelsey on Season 2, I can’t say it enough: I am very comfortable with my body. Sex is sex and I am not ashamed of it.
Straight people have sex all the time on cable and in the movies, and no one says anything. [But] I have sex with someone I love, who happens to be another woman, and I get all these opinions? Thank God my mother and father raised me to be a strong woman and who owns who I am.
AE: Taking control of your life and getting sober was your arc this past season. What was the catalyst for such an enormous life change?
RK: I have to say, the show was a real blessing. I turned 29 when we began filming and had no idea what I was really doing with my life. I knew I was cheating myself on life, and having a camera crew following me around meant the whole world would see that I was ignore my big issues by hiding behind the party. As I got older, it got worse, but this last year it was out of control.
Dating Kelsey, someone a lot younger and immature, it made it OK for us to both be drunks. One week in, I had gotten black-out drunk during filming and did something I did not remember. And I was not OK with that. Kelsey did not hold me accountable for anything, so I lost myself in this mess. It was not her responsibility to recognize I had a problem. It was mine. That next morning, I knew I was done! I had to stop drinking and I was going to allow Showtime to document it.
What I didn’t know, was how good my life could get once I cut out the drinking. I got healthy. I work out everyday. I’m closer to my real friends and family. I got out of an unhealthy relationship. I took charge of my life and started a company. I created a jewelry line with my business partner, Vanessa Salazar, called Hija Por Vida (“Daughter for Life” in Spanish, for our parents) for Love and Pride. I also created a fashion blog, www.tenderomi.com, and I have my own line, Casa Por Vida. I could not do any of this if I was still drinking. Regardless what people may say about me, I am proud of myself.
AE: Getting sober meant the demise of your relationship with Kelsey. What was it like to see that play out on TV?
RK: It sucked. Kelsey and I had a very emotional and life-changing relationship. To jump in almost a year into it, is not showing the audience the full picture. They edited us and since it’s hard to show all the back stories to every fight, you get this chopped-up version. A relationship like ours had too many layers for a one-hour episode to fully capture.
RK: When I sobered up, I realized we wanted very different things for ourselves. I am not the first to date someone for all the wrong reasons. But I learned about myself, and I learned exactly what I want, and don’t want out, of a relationship. I was beyond unhappy at the end. It’s very clear when I watch the show now. If I ever need a reminder why I changed my life, it will be on a DVD for me.
I would have left her sooner but I was trying to not put Kelsey through all that on television. In the end, I couldn’t keep going, filming or not. Breaking up with her was a huge part of me moving forward in my life. Kelsey came off like a victim and there are, for sure, Team Kelsey fans out there. I care for Kelsey and wish her all the best in her life.
AE: Aside from the heavily edited version of your relationship, do you think, overall, you and the rest of the cast were portrayed accurately?
RK: I’m a very goofy person and I’m the first to make fun of myself. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m dramatic but also, that I’m a huge nerd that finds a way to laugh at every thing. I wish the show had wanted to show more of my humor, but I give them so much drama, that’s what they used. They don’t want to see me laugh, they want to see me cry. And I do!
As for the other cast members, I think it can be hard for some to let themselves go with the production around. That limits the chance to be seen for who they really are. Or maybe they are just smarter than me and know how to show only what they want to be seen. Maybe they have filters, something I do not seem to have.
AE: I was at Francine’s to watch the first episode with all of you. Claire and Vivian’s reactions were interesting. There were tears and laughs and it felt really emotional. Can you explain what was going on that night?
RK: When we watched the first episode with everyone at Francine’s, Claire and Viv were there. I do think it was a bit emotional for them. The show is new to them and their relationship. Claire can be a very private person.
AE: How private can Claire be, honestly?
RK: Well, I don’t really know. I guess not that private, being that she’s on a reality show. I just think she’s aware of what she is allowing the cameras to get. She is a smart girl. But I think reliving sad times like leaving Viv in New York was not easy, especially [watching it] at Franny’s house. The show can take you back and make you relive moments you may just want to forget. And want the people you care about to forget. I think Viv, Claire and Franny handled it all very well. I give them all much love.
AE: It was interesting for me, having never watched a reality show with the cast in the same room. It was surreal. I sensed there were some unresolved dramas floating around – true or false?
RK: Well at the time when you were with us, the show has just finished filming and it all went up really fast. So, yes, there was still unfinished drama. I have to laugh at some of the drama that goes down. I mean really, you can’t make this s–it up. [Laughs]
Our circle of friends is worthy of reality TV, for sure. Whitney and Sara were some of my best friends before this show. We all went through this crazy journey together. I loved going through it with them and I feel so lucky to have the rest of the girls share an experience with me that will forever keep us bonded. We all put our lives out there, together.
AE: I have a list of RLW Biggest Misconceptions to run by you. Ready? What is the biggest misconception about LA lesbians?
RK: Hmm, the biggest misconception is that they are all femme girls. No, they are not, or I would be sh-t out of luck! We do have a lot of really pretty girls here.
AE: That no one has a real job?
RK: Yes, we do. It’s LA. Jobs here may look different than jobs everywhere else, but they are still jobs.
AE: Being on The Real Word was to become famous?
RK: People have said I used the show to be famous and launch my line and that I used Kelsey for my story line. Let’s clear something up. 1. I never auditioned for the show; 2. I met Whitney before cameras were around; 3. Kelsey and I started dating after Season 1, way before any talk of Season 2; 3. I was going to start a line before I was asked back for Season 2; 4. I’m not rich and famous and no one handed me my [jewelry] line. Vanessa and I do it all on our own and work very hard.
AE: Reality TV?
RK: For those who seem to not get it, and there are a lot of you: We are real people. We have no control of how they decide they are going to portray us. It makes it way more painful when people are trash talking our “characters.” If I was acting as a character, and you hated my character, it would not hurt as much as when you insult who I really am as a person. This whole thing only made me stronger.
AE: llene Chaiken?
RK: As far as I’m concerned, she put out the amazing series, The L Word. (Shane did it for me, as I’m sure she did for most.) I was honored to be asked to be a part of a show even close to The L Word, which helped change my life and many others [as far as] coming out, etc.. I respect what she has done for our community and will continue to do. She has always been very sweet and supportive with me. I thank her and Showtime for finding me intriguing enough for their show and I would love to come back and do it again!
AE: What’s next for Romi Klinger?
RK: These days, I am in love with me. I am, for once, having a full-blown relationship with myself and it’s good. I’m also doing everything I can to get Hija Por Vida out there. Rose Garcia [from Season 1] is mentoring me and teaching me everything there is to know about running a business. She has really helped make Hija come together for us.
AE: Did I tell you that I want to start a band called “Romi’s Vagina”? I just think it would be so punk rock.
RK: Where do I sign up? Let’s start this band please. At least a song. This vagina of mine needs an agent.
AE: What would you want the first song to be? What would we call our first record?
RK: The record would be called Everyone’s Seen it, Nobody’s Heard it and the first song would be “Tile, No Carpet.”
AE: Perfect. You’ve read the AfterEllen recaps, and yet, still agreed to this interview. What do you think about the site?
RK: I know you and many others recap the episodes and pretty much make fun of everything you can about us. I guess that’s what you get when you put yourself out there. I’m guilty, as all of us are, for making fun of people without knowing them. This time, I’m the joke and that’s fine.
I love that there are sites like AfterEllen out there. It’s a community and it’s smart, funny and informative. If I was mad about everyone or every site that said something bad about me I would be one lonely lesbian – and one major Deb.
