Rock the gay way

 
 

Last week, Spinner.com made a list of the “20 Rockin’ Gay Moments.” I know, I know — another list. Stop the audible groaning. You know you can’t resist them and, clearly, neither can I. So let’s put on our yelling caps and take a look at this puppy.

Of the 20, four and a half are women (the half goes to the Equality Rocks concert featuring female performers like k.d. lang and Melissa Etheridge). Of those, the highest ranking moment was No. 6 which was — wait for it, wait for it — the Britney Spears-Madonna-Christina Aguilera MTV kiss. Oy, does anyone have an antacid?

The other ladies on the list:

18. Jill Sobule: She kissed a girl and since then has been quite sweet to her lesbian fan base. Plus, if you get past the novelty number, her music has a poignant delicacy.

12. Melissa Etheridge: Ever since she declared “Yes I Am,” lesbians have been coming to her window in droves. Clearly, these days she has no problem getting anybody to bring her some water.

9. Sinead O’Connor: The feisty Irishwoman declared she was “No Man’s Woman” in 2000, but has since recalculated and is now “three-quarters heterosexual, a quarter gay.” Now, I loved “Nothing Compares 2 U,” but that is some crazy fuzzy gay math.

I would argue that Melissa deserves a spot in the Top 10, if not the Top 5. At the very least, she should be ahead of Michael Stipe (No. 11) and Sinead (No. 9), who both came out after they had achieved success and stardom. Melissa, on the other hands, opened the closet door and then proceeded to have the biggest hits of her career.

And what about the top spot? It goes to Rufus Wainwright channeling Judy Garland’s famed Carnegie Hall performance. Rufus? Really? No offense to the prodigiously talented Mr. Wainwright, but I feel that he is too contemporary and too niche to have delivered THE most rocking’ gay moment. None of his albums have cracked the Billboard Hot 200 Top 20, and I’m willing to bet that if you polled 20 people on the street at random, maybe three would be able to name a single one of his songs. Maybe.

What would I have picked for No. 1? Let me give you a little hint. It’s just a jump to the left. And then a step to the right. With your hands on your hips, you bring your knees in tight. That’s right, we shouldn’t have to do the “Time Warp” to realize that The Rocky Horror Picture Show is possibly the most fabulously gay rock moment in the history of, well, ever.

 
 

Tags: , ,