The hitman finally reaches the electrical room and restarts the elevators. Jane sees this and runs down, grabbing her stomach the whole time. Yes, we’ve reached critical This Doesn’t Look Good levels.
The team arrives – Nina with her iPad of Righteous Justice, too – and start to search for her. Maura does too, and dumb Beardy wants to come under the police tape with her. Sure, that seems like a good idea. A college engineering professor with zero police or medical experience will be super helpful in an active crime scene with a shooting in progress. Maura tells him no. Sit. Stay. Good dog. He gets a peck as a reward. Look, stupid animals need a reward to learn. (p.s. This is in no way a slam on canine intelligence. Dogs are smart, this guy – not so much.)
So while he’s standing around like a dummy, Jane does something crazy heroic because – of course she does. She’s Det. Jane Rizzoli. She cuts the power and then comes at the hitman with a pipe. They fight, he hits her in the stomach and back. And then just as he is about to deliver a death blow – bang. The detectives arrive just in time and shoot him. Look, we all knew she wasn’t going to die and this dude was the laziest hitman ever, but it was still a pretty tense situation.
Outside Maura is holding Jane’s hand because that’s what you do when your girlfriend nearly dies. The EMTs wheel Tasha up to Jane’s gurney and they pause to have a moment. Look, this is very heartwarming but shouldn’t they rush her to a hospital, STAT? Arterial bleeds aren’t cured by warm fuzzy feelings.
Case solved, damsel rescued – Jane stares lovingly at Maura. Yes, I think they deserve a little eye sex after a near-death experience. Maura leans over and tells her, “You did good, Jane. You did really good.” Wow, Maura must have been really shaken up. But we’ll let it pass because love means never having to say you’re sorry you used incorrect grammar in a moment of crisis.
Now on to your #Gayzzoli tweets of the week. Twitter was acting weird this week and wouldn’t let me search all your tweets. So I apologize for missing some of your brilliant insults for Prof. Beard. But don’t worry, I felt them all and they warmed my heart.
Victor go back to Sierra and Echo! There’s no room for a Ken in this #Gayzzoli dollhouse.
— Kendal Benson (@kbenson327) August 6, 2014
— Bethany Danielle (@TnDani) August 6, 2014
I know I’m behind but for fucks sake is there anything more gay than camping in the Adirondacks? #gayzzoli
— Kate (@chemkate) August 7, 2014
Honey, we’re all waiting for the other shoe to drop. #gayzzoli
— Winona Writer (@txtstogibbs) August 6, 2014
I for one *always* get expensive gifts from my BFF’s new boyfriends. #gayzzoli
— Katie Hall Papa (@katieeverybody) August 6, 2014
When auditioning for the role of a beard, sports memorabilia works wonders #gayzzoli
— Bliz Ben (@blizbenn) August 6, 2014
Good thing they decided to wear vests for the third time in five years #gayzzoli
— KLD (@devineIntrvntn) August 6, 2014
Yes because you should bypass 911 & Boston hospitals and demand to be patched through to your girlfriend the medical examiner. #gayzzoli
— Christin (@christinc1) August 6, 2014
— Katlyn Wright (@katlynwright_) August 6, 2014
How the hell was Jack going to help? Tell Tasha the fascinating pant story while she is dying? #gayzzoli
— Mariana Mathias (@ringroad25) August 6, 2014
— Uber Wanky (@UberWanky) August 6, 2014
Why is Prof. Beard still around? I thought there was some sort of an unspoken rule about beards disappearing after two episodes #Gayzzoli
— Amanda (@ThatCynicalKid) August 6, 2014
And one more Bonus Tweet from Jan Nash heself:
Jane and Maura went camping. Talk amongst yourself. #RizzoliandIsles
— Jan Nash (@JanNash100) August 6, 2014