“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (5.07): How to lose a guy in 10 days


The British agent calls Jane “incredible.” Slow your roll, lady. She is taken. Jane gives all the credit to Maura. The agent thanks them both for bringing closure to the victim’s families and for also being so hot. She was thinking that, you know it.


Another case successfully in the books, Jane looks at Maura and says, “If you ever have anything to tell me, just tell me, OK? Don’t use like codes or invisible ink or talking animals or secret Latin words for puppy.” Oh, man, are we going to get The Talk after all?

Maura promises not to use talking animals, because she has seen enough pirate movies to know better. Aw, I bet Jane is the one who made her watch pirate movies. They head into the elevator where they can share some proper uninterrupted eye sex.


They also have a big family talk, masked as a conversation about the tattooed bookstore employee. Something about no matter the bad things someone did in their past it doesn’t change the way they feel about you. To break the tension Jane says she could just talk about puppies instead. Then she admits cross-bred puppies can be used as a metaphor for change. Well, only if you admit you two are the puppies and you’re both in love, Jane.

So now we’re all back where we began. At Maura’s house for breakfast. Mama R is trying yoga and telling her about how she has torn down her foundation to start anew. In other words, she broke up with her boyfriend and quit her job. Jane asks if she’ll be moving out of Maura’s place. You can tell she is trying to mask her excitement at the possibility of no longer being barged in on during very special private times with Maura.


Maura comes down and Jane notices right away that her earrings match. Damn, Maura has her butch trained. Jane also says she is now emotionally prepared to meet Maura’s beard. She has even researched doodles and is seriously considering changing her nickname to St. Bernadoodle because of their cuteness (and also loyalty–I added that part because, hello, it’s a rescue dog).

Maura smiles and tells Jane she had to cancel, once again. So, those of you keeping score at home, that is Cancellation No. 3. Anything to get out of a date with a dude, honey. Anything.


Maura confesses there’s something more important than Prof. Beard that she needs to do. And then she stares lovingly at Jane and says she could really use some company. Jane nods her head a little too eagerly like – hell yeah, I’m gonna get me some morning sex.


Fortified by their love (and love making, ahem), the ladies head out to the prison to see Paddy. Jane levels her eyes at Maura and tells her, “I’ll be right here if you need me.” I know Jane’s the one who is pregnant, but with all the unprotected eye sex this episode Maura is sure to be next. She sashays down the walkway to see her biological father, all under the watchful eye of Jane. Telling that the one guy Maura bothers to keep a date with this entire episode is her father.

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