“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.01): Get your motor running

Back on the case – remember, there’s a case – the detectives have uncovered Red Herring #2, the website “STOP BAD PEOPLE.” No, really, the website is actually called, STOP BAD PEOPLE – all caps and everything. What, “WE KILL PEOPLE” or “MURDER SUSPECT HERE” were taken? The ex-state senator was on their “BAD PEOPLE” list, so of course they’ll have to check it out.

Jane goes to check Maura out and finds Susie instead. But instead of being a crotchblock, she makes up for her past disturbances by pointing Jane in Maura’s direction. Wait, did anyone sweep the room for hidden cameras?

Susie leaves with a giggle as Jane finds Maura upside down. See, I told you there have to be cameras. Also, I just realized how handy an inverter machine is for lesbians. Can you order those off Amazon? I must go check immediately. For science. Or something.

But instead of allowing positional gravity and human anatomy to work their wonderful dance together, Maura gets up and bites down hard on another pencil. If you’d just taken advantage of the inverter you wouldn’t need such distractions, dear. Jane tells her she has to deal with her dad’s trial and her feelings about her dad’s trial and her feelings about her mom’s feelings about her dad’s trial. So many feelings to process, said the totally straight friend to the other totally straight friend.

The team has tracked down the Red Herring #2 webmaster. He’s of no consequence except he’s the only person on Rizzoli & Isles who reacts properly when seeing Det. Jane Rizzoli sitting across from him. Namely, “Wow.” Yes, friend, wow. Wow, indeed. Jane plays it up because even with Maura upside down at crotch level she can’t get any action, so a girl gets her attention where she can. Or, um, for information about the case.

That information leads them to realize he’s not the killer, just creating the website for the probably killer. Etc. etc. Hey, is anyone using the inverter right now. I could go for a nap. So could Jane, but Maura wants to go for a run finally. Jane groans, “The things I do for you!” Tell us more about these things, Jane. Speak slowly and use lots of descriptive words.

As they jog back to Jane’s place, because of course Maura is going there, they stop because of a shadowy figure in her doorway. Robber? Serial killer? Completely unwanted male love interest? Dammit, it’s the latter. Yes, Lt. Col. Beard Force is back, or Casey if you must. He’s wearing civvies and standing without crutches. Naturally, Maura wants to pepper spray him in the face.

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