“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.01): Get your motor running

After some prodding, Jane finally gets Maura to confess that, yes, she really wanted a thank you fruit basket from Hope. One with some fancy pears and a nice prosecco and gourmet chocolates and spa stuff. Jane gives her that, “I love you so much you crazy little monkey”-face. And now it’s our turn to melt.

Just as things start to get to Def-Con Adorable, who should walk in but Senior Criminalist/Captain Crotchblock Susie Chang. Does she have a homing device with a body temperature sensor planted on Maura? How is it she finds them at their most Adorable Bickersons-y and then shows up? I think she not-so secretly wants to walk in on them in flagrante one of these days. Nudists, always wanting to see your junk.

Frost and Jane go to question the husband, because it’s not Rizzoli & Isles without at least one Red Herring thrown in for good measure. What they find, besides an incensed spouse, is bottles of dirty water stored under the senator’s desk. Either she had a strange incontinence problem, or this just turned into Erin Brockovich.

So naturally next we see Jane and Maura staking out…a coffeeshop. I don’t think that’s where the dirty water came from. Oh, wait, they’re not on a stakeout. They’re just stalking Maura’s former kidney. Totally normal couples activity. Not unlike stalking an ex, just to make sure she isn’t stalking you. I’ve heard. Hey, they’re the ones with the binoculars.

Maura notes, with scorn, the triple-shot of caramel in Cailin’s espresso. How rude! But then her half-sister looks over and the ladies have to duck down in the car to hide. Oh, please, do not even pretend getting horizontal in Maura’s car is anything new for you two. I mean, you usually move it to the backseat, but sometimes you’re in a hurry and only have a few minutes – amirite?

Captain Crotchblock crops up again – how does she do it? – but this time just her robot voice talking about Cailin’s location through Maura’s dashboard. Then who should walk up and knock on her windshield? Best to take that hot cup of awkward to go, ladies.

Maura goes out to talk with her half-sister, who apologizes for her past brattiness. And thanks her for, you know, the kidney and whatever. She also gives Maura a family heirloom as a sign of gratitude. It’s a scrimshaw necklace that was given to her mother, Hope, by her biological father/murderous mob boss Paddy Doyle. So, thanks – I think?

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