Luckily Maura runs up, still fuming from the lover’s tiff, but distracted by the horsepower. She asks Frankie what noise it made when it cut out and they proceed to show us why they never had careers in sound effects. All the ruckus interrupts Jane from her doting gay aunt routine, so she instructs them to stop immediately. The only person who makes funny noises with Maura is Jane, and sadly not recently.
The car of a former state senator and his daughter who took over his seat rolls by and then, bam. There are now two former state senators in the parade. The daughter has been hit and killed by a sniper. Maura looks at Jane and Jane looks at Maura and suddenly none of their whiney pain-in-the-ass ways matter. The deceased’s sister runs up shortly after screaming, with crazy hair and a baby in tow. Can we give that Spidey tingle we get when a suspicious character enters our consciousness at the beginning of the show a name? Rizzoli radar? Yeah, that.
In the autopsy room, Jane walks in on a pencil-biting Maura. The things we do to alleviate sexual tension. Maura says she is doing it to exercise her smile muscles. She says studies have shown activating certain muscles can trick your brain into thinking you are happy. Sweetie, darling – I know some muscle you can activate that will make you actually happy. No tricks required.
Jane tells Maura she needs to confront her real problem. Such good processing. See, all that couples therapy totally paid off. Maura needs to admit she’s butthurt about her biological mama, Hope, not sending her as much as a mini-muffin basket as thanks for donating her kidney to that ungrateful little shi… Right, sorry, here’s a pencil. Good luck with that.
Focusing on work for a change, they discover the state senator’s husband, a former environmental lawyer, is a stay-at-home dad now who takes care of the couple’s two kids. Frost finds gif of him online taunting him as Mr. Mommy. Look, TV writers, if mean things posted about you on the Internet makes you a killer, there would not be one single person left alive on earth.
Maura asks if she can talk with Jane. She blows her off instead saying she’ll call her later. But then Jane sees Dejected Maura Face and melts into a puddle of “I’m sorry. What do you need, baby? Anything! Anything!” Maura asks if Jane could ever marry a caretaker. Jane knits her brow and says she’d rather marry a smoking hot medical examiner. And then this happens:
Maura: Oh, I was just thinking about you and Casey.
Jane: Well, stop.
And that’s our show, folks. Thanks so much for coming out tonight. You’ll find some parting gifts on the side table near the door. Don’t forget your jackets.