“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.15): We say to Frankie, “Relax! Don’t do it!”

The taste test doesn’t reveal much, but Maura’s science does. The chef’s new batch of hot sauce contains GMO saffron (at $10 a pound vs. $5,000 a pound for the real stuff). Cue dun-dun-dun noises. This makes Jane hungry so she grabs Maura for an impromptu date.

Frankie and Tommy are already at the Dirty Robber bemoaning the lack of grease and taste on the menu these days. Frankie spits it out (not the food, his feelings) and tells Tommy he thinks he likes Maura. Tommy does his own spit-take in response.


Bless his little heart, Tommy automatically blurts out, “YOU CAN’T LIKE MAURA!” I mean, sure, she’s hot and smart and has a great ass but she is YOUR SISTER. That’s what happened when Jane claimed her. I have never felt more solidarity with Tommy before. I am going to get a giant neon sign that reads “Stop! You can’t!” and flick it on anytime the writers try to hooking up a Rizzoli whose first name isn’t “Jane” with Maura. Won’t help, but at least it will make me feel better.

Tommy tells Frankie he should just forget it because he could never scissor the way Jane scissors. And that’s the end of that because even Frankie realizes it’s true.


So when Jane and Maura arrive Frankie leaves to go buy Officer Britney Spears a beer. Yeah, go hit on someone who isn’t your sister. This isn’t Flowers in the Attic.

Tommy beams as he shows them his huge amethyst engagement ring (because Lydia loves purple, awww) and they make the appropriate cooing noises. But then after he leaves to go show Mama Rizzoli, Jane immediately senses a disturbance in the Happy Girlfriend Forcefield. Hey, if you’ve been in a longterm relationship you know it’s a real thing. And you know the importance of scanning for any blips on the radar in case of sudden feelings sneak attacks.


Maura tells Jane she’s jealous. Oh man, here it comes. I told you, Jane, you should have gotten her a ring. But wait, it isn’t the stereotypical, I-wish-I-was-getting-married-too jealousy. It has nothing to do with her wanting a wedding or hoping her prince (or in this case princess) will come. It’s about her wishing she had a close relationship with her mother. Everyone get up. That deserves a slow clap.

Granted, being adopted doesn’t automatically make people long for their “real” parents. I certainly don’t. But given Maura’s situation you could see how she’d wish for something more. Of course, the obvious response is, “Maura, you already have this. You have Mama Rizzoli.” But Jane is too distracted. Her eyeline has been otherwise engaged this entire conversation.

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