“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.15): We say to Frankie, “Relax! Don’t do it!”

Maura heads back in first. They have to keep up appearances and all. (Though, come on, everyone knows.) She stops in the lobby where Frankie is awaiting and there are a bunch of strange packages with foreign postage have arrived for her. So, she picks one up but it makes a strange clicking sound. There’s a bomb on the bus police department lobby. Keep it above 65 miles per hour. Wait, these might not be the correct precautions. She yells for everyone to leave and call the bomb squad, but Frankie refuses and says he is staying with her because if Jane knows he let something happen to her girlfriend he’s as good as dead anyway.


The bomb squad arrives (what, no BT the BT?) and Jane is frantic behind the barricade. That’s Maura and Frankie in there, but mostly Maura. Inside, Maura’s arms are starting to hurt. Um, I kind of thought with all her yoga and self-defense and core strengthening she’d be doing better than Frankie. But whatever, continuity.

Jane watches from her tablet outside because, of course, there’s a crystal-clear live stream of the whole incident. Sure, I can’t find a live feed of anything that doesn’t buffer and pixelate every 30 seconds, but sure. Fine. I’m not bitter. It turns out Jane wasn’t watching to see what was happening as much as keep an eye on her little brother. Because all of a sudden she lets out a “What the hell?” because, seriously, WHAT THE HELL?


Well, now the bomb doesn’t matter because Jane is going to blow up Frankie anyway. With her bare hands. But looks are somewhat deceiving because Other Rizzoli was just allowing Maura to use his beard stubble to scratch her itchy nose. Yes, I know. The beard upon beard metaness is killing me, too. My theory is that this is all just a very elaborate and potentially dangerous way to make Jane jealous.

Frankie tells Maura he loved working on the Café Racer bike with her. Bonding over fixing an engine throttle together? Super heterosexual. An X-Ray of the package jogs Maura’s memory. And then it all becomes clear. It’s not a bomb. It’s just a fancy coffee maker and its fancy coffee pods she ordered off of Amazon. The look on the bomb tech’s face says it all: “Are you kidding me with these white people problems?”


So. Yay. Crisis averted. Right? Why is Frankie making those puppy dog eyes at Maura and talking about remembering this forever. Francesco Rizzoli Jr., you get those thoughts right out of your head. You hear me? OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

Naturally, Nose Nuzzle Gate does not go unnoticed by Jane. She pointedly questions Maura about hearts and toxins and disastrous outcomes.  I love how even though Maura is head-to-toe in a hazmat suit with a full respirator, she knows where the real danger is. Warning! Warning! Mad girlfriend! Very mad girlfriend!


Maura tries to explain it away with the scientific term for “itchy nose,” but Jane gives her the, “Honey, there is SO MUCH to process later”-look.

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