“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.15): We say to Frankie, “Relax! Don’t do it!”

 
 

Jane is sleepy. I always assume when Jane is sleepy that another long, non-sleep-filled night at Maura’s place is the culprit. Work hard, play hard – that’s what I always say. The problem, Frankie claims, is her lack of breakfast. Well, sometimes you also need to get in a quickie before work. It’s the most important meal of the day, depending on what you eat. Ahem.

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Tommy comes running in with great news, waking everyone up. He passed the plumber’s apprenticeship exam. Now he only needs three more years of study, training and examination before he can legally fix Maura’s toilet. But it’s not Tommy’s only good news. He is also going to ask Lydia to marry him.

Everyone is thrilled, but Frankie has a roving eye. He has spotted Officer Britney Spears (come on, there’s a resemblance) and has chosen his brother’s big announcement as an opportune time to try and hit that. Tommy sees his brother’s game and is like, son, please. So he goes over as well because sibling rivalry is a powerful thing. Jane is the only Rizzoli who knows not to act like a mangy dog. Plus she already has steak at home so why go begging for hamburger?

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Jane teases her girlfriend and says perhaps the Rizzolis aren’t cut out for marriage. See, now that same-sex marriage has become legal in more and more states, the commitment-phobic among us have to come up with more and more creative excuses to get out of making an honest woman out of our women. Just then their phones ring and rob Jane of more “processing” (her gay word, not mine) time with Maura. And it’s off on another fun, flirty murder!

Our happy couple arrive on scene and Maura immediately recognizes the victim, Chef Holden, as the winner of the reality show America’s Best Chef and gets all excited. Is it possible to fangirl over a corpse? Because girlfriend is doing it. She and Frost both geek out about the show, and the two survivors who were the second and third place finishers. I am also suddenly very, very sad because I believe this is the last full episode Lee Thompson Young shot. The finality of it all is simply terrible.

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Right, so back to the comparatively happier place of fake murder and grisly death. Maura examines Chef Holden’s body and sniffs him for good measure. What she smells sends her in a panic and makes her nose bleed. She is especially adamant about Jane getting back. Nothing can hurt Jane. SAVE JANE AT ALL COSTS.

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Hazmat gets called out to deal with the toxin on his body. Everyone checks out OK, including Maura. Though Jane remains worried about her lady and wants to send her to the ER. Overprotective Jane is always on. But, of course, she balks at taking similar precautions for herself like, say, having to strip down again to take a Silkwood shower. Again. Oh, ladies, don’t even pretend you’re not used to naked shower time together by now.

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But they all have to strip, which is a slightly less fun mental image. Frost and Korsak arrive back in the office in their complimentary Tyvek jumpsuits. But Jane and Maura are, and I quote, “changing in the car.” Sure, there’s an entire police station with functioning and private restrooms to use. But, noooo, they’d rather change in front of each other. Plus, we all know they keep spare clothes in the car for those overnight stays when they forget to pack a bag.

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