“Rizzoli & isles” Subtext Recap (4.10): My kingdom for a kale salad

 
 

What follows can only properly be called a Beard Explosion, both literally and figuratively. Bearded beard BT BT walks in, and whisks Maura away to the lab to stand by for results. Then bearded beard Lt. Suave walks in to make nice with Jane. Oh, and just in case we’ve forgotten about him, Lt. Col. Beard Force gets mentioned but luckily isn’t available to Skype. Two visible beards per episode are all I can take.

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Lt. Suave thinks he’s all suave as he gives Jane her police car back and tries to buy her a drink. Jane is suspicious of him right away. And then he tries to get sexytime going and I need to take a moment to talk with the straight women in the room. Does saying, “We were good together when we didn’t talk” work as a pick-up line? Because to me it sounds like, “Shut your man pleaser, woman, and get busy satisfying my boy parts.” But then, I could have my “Man-Hating Lesbian”-filter turned up too high.

Back to things I do understand, Maura rolls out from under the charred muscle car. Now both Jane and Maura have played grease monkeys this season and I like it. She finds the bomb signal receiver and BT BT calls her “incredible.” Jane agrees while giving that none-too-subtle possessive vibe. So now they know the range of the thing and determine the bomber had to be at the race.

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Frost (awww) manages to salvage the content of the micro-SD card Maura found earlier. It gives them the driver’s angle on the race and who should they see in the background? Lt. Suave. So, just to recap, a police lieutenant was at the scene of a homicide and failed to report either the crime or his presence. That has to be, at very least, bad form and at worst against like every police policy possible. Of course Lt. Cavanaugh wants to give him the benefit of the doubt because just a few episodes ago he almost murdered a suspect while in custody awaiting to stand trial with no repercussions. Rules smules.

As the detectives wait for Lt. Suave to explain himself, they find out the victim worked on a competitor’s Mustang. So they track it down and find it in an old warehouse. Jane sees it and immediately says, “Hello, sweetness.” Yep, nothing gay about that. The keys are still in the car so Jane gets in, and then tries the combination code they found written on a scrap piece of paper. It opens a secret hold that contains what looks like drugs, money and a gun. Jane picks up everything without gloves because, why not, that seems like totally sound police procedure. I have to be super zen about all the law enforcement rules this show breaks, because otherwise I’d burst a blood vessel in my brain every week from frustration.

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Just then the garage doors open, Jane, Frost and Korsak hide and then leap out to ambush who they think are the perps. But they turn out to be Lt. Suave, Frankie and the other driver. They’ve stumbled into an undercover operation, which Lt. Suave didn’t bother to tell them about even though it intersected with their homicide investigation and even though he was at the homicide in question and even though he knows their prime suspect for said homicide who is really an undercover NYC cop. Seems like a cool dude without any trust issues, Jane, you should definitely sleep with him immediately. That is, if you weren’t 100 percent gay for Maura already.

Instead Jane rightfully asks what is wrong with him and sighs in disbelief. Suave and his crew have been trying to track a new meth ring that is smuggling the drug into town through secret holds and creating their own market by handing out free samples. I don’t watch enough Breaking Bad to know, is meth smuggling from Mexico a big problem? I thought anyone could Walter White up a batch in a mobile home. Lt. Suave’s operation is trying to uncover the kingpin of this ring, who is unknown to them right now.

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