“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.09): Take your son to work day

 
 

As Jane and Maura begin to discuss how they investigated Hoyt’s case, the curtain is pulled back to reveal the scene. It’s gory. Really, really gory. Too gory. Remember that terrible, awful tea party? Yeah, well it ended very badly for the guests.

Jane quickly realizes the scene is real and Maura confirms the news putting an end to their romantic blood cottage getaway. See, I told you gals, next time go to Vermont. With a real crime scene on their hands, the detectives cordon off the area and start investigating, which in a room full of cops who want to investigate is going to be a challenge.

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Luckily, unluckily, Dr. Nolan graciously/creepily offers her help in the case. I know she wrote a book about killers and all, but is it really wise to include a non-authorized civilian into the intimate details of a police investigation? Did this show suddenly turn into Castle? And, if so, can we then please have Maura and Jane make out soon? It took Castle and Beckett four seasons to finally do the deed so I think we’re due.

They decide to keep the symposium going, which is going to be difficult given their auditorium is now a crime scene. And then they determine the killer is sending them a theatrical message. Oh, great, a failed theater major. I can’t wait for Dr. Nolan’s bestselling book on this case, When Jazz Hands Kill.

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Side note, the recently deceased female crime scene tech totally looks like family on her police ID card. I mean, look at that adorable alternative lifestyle haircut. Sure, it’s a little Bieber, but who am I to speak ill of the dead.

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Beat from a long night, the detectives finally call it a day at 2 a.m. Maura immediately turns to Jane and says, and I quote, “You can stay with me tonight.” I don’t know about you, but I yelled, “Oh my God, come on!” at my television at that. Like out loud with emphatic hand gestures.

Jane looks at her like, girl, I know. I’m there every night anyway. But then she declines because she wants a clear head to solve this case and can’t be distracted by all the things they do together on the yoga room floor. And the kitchen counter. And the living room couch. And, just to keep it interesting, the bed.

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Jane says she’s going to go home, take a bath and pet her dog. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather pet a pussy, honey? I’m just saying, stress release is important at times like these. Instead Jane walks into her apartment and is greeted by Jo Friday. Aw, little Jo. Also, poor Jo. This means she’s not going to get a walk tonight which means I hope she has a really, really strong bladder.

Jane takes out her gun to check her place, even though we know and she knows it’s not Hoyt. But, dammit, if it still isn’t scary. Like I legitimately hugged my couch pillow with worry, though mostly I worried that something terrible would happen to Jo. They can’t kill Jane, her name is in the title.

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Jane and Jo fall asleep on the couch, and then like some kind of terrifying Nightmare on Elm Street scenario, Hoyt suddenly reaches out and touches Jane’s face. We know it’s not really Hoyt, just Dream Hoyt because he has weird long, dyed brown hair. Is Hoyt having some sort of afterlife mid-life crisis? What’s with the hair and the leather jacket, is a dream sportcar waiting out front, too?

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Dream Hoyt invites in a little boy holding a puppy. And then tells the story of how he killed his first puppy. Come on, writers, what is with all the dog endangerment this week? Are we going to have to call the ASPCA and get Sarah McLachlan to come over and sing “Angel” super slowly in the writer’s room as punishment?

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