“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.06): I threw my coffee for you


Cavanaugh finds Jane with a good news/bad news scenario. Good news, she is no longer being investigated because the incident happened one minute before Jane was on the clock. Bad news, she will have to pay for her legal defense by herself now. Being The Best Girlfriend Ever, Maura checks with her attorney to see what Jane’s legal options are, offers to pay his $25,000 retainer and gives her another round of Concerned Girlfriend Eye Sex complete with TGTG hand holding.


Jane frets she’ll have to sell her condo to pay her legal fees. So close to them moving in, so close. But then she notices something in the viral video. The fabric from Wannabe Alex Vause’s blouse is wicking away the spilled coffee. So she was protected from the hot coffee and set Jane up. Better yet, they notice a fingerprint on the lens. This is exactly why criminals should never upload their videos at 1080p.

Frost meanwhile has tracked down the patent on the object with the same pattern as the garbage man’s wounds. It was a rotor blade for a drone, probably used in corporate espionage. Unmanned drones! Corporate spying! Coffee throwing! This episode really has everything.


Plot stuff, plot stuff, plot stuff. Long story short a rival company’s head was trying to retrieve his drone technology from Old Man Hoarder, who shot it down with his EMP, when he was caught so he killed the garbage man. Now he’s back in the basement and is threatening the old man instead. But Det. Jane Rizzoli is there to save the day. Rest assured, no hoarders were harmed in the making of this episode.

They also uncover the videographer from his fingerprint, and it turns out to be the pervy building manager. Jane and Maura arrive at her condo only to find perv and Wannabe Alex Vause measuring the cabinets and testing out color swatches. Looks like she’s going to prison after all. Not to wish harm upon another person, but I wouldn’t mind if they bunked her with Pennsatucky. You know, from this angle Wannabe Alex Vause also looks a little like Fake Megan Mullally. But the Orange Is the New Black references work better, so I’m sticking with it.


Case solved, viral video hoaxers arrested, Jane and Maura are together – all is pretty much right with the world. Maura brings Jane’s laptop over (sharing passwords, I see) to show her another video. This one, titled “Kind Detective Jane,” shows Jane being kind to Old Man Hoarder. Jane’s eyes soften, but then she notes it is far from viral with only 11 hits. Just wait until the fangirls in Europe get their hands on it, honey.

Maura thinks maybe they should overlay some music. Jane suggests dubbing in “B-b-b-b-bitch” and Maura eagerly offers to rap. She then demonstrates her mad beatbox skills.


You guys, Maura rapping. You guys. Jane calls it spitting and gives her adorable girlfriend a napkin. See, no wonder Jane threw her coffee for her.

And now for your coffee-fueled #Gayzzoli tweets of the week.










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