“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.06): I threw my coffee for you


Jane is outraged The Internets put words in her mouth and Maura gives her a comforting shoulder rub. Finally, some Totally Gratuitous, Totally Gay Touching. I was starting to worry they’d forgotten how. She also gives Jane excellent Concerned Girlfriend Eye Sex. Look out, Frostie, Rizzles is finally coming for you.


Mama Rizzoli is also concerned and brings Jane a half-eaten “It’s a Girl” cake. Jane’s excited about her unexpected pregnancy. Um, Mama R, did you never properly have the birds-and-bees talk with your daughter. Maura can’t physically get Jane pregnant. Well, not without a turkey baster, at least.

Still in the basement, Frankie and Frost find an Electro-Magnetic Pulse blaster and decide to test it out. They promptly fry Officer Britney Spears’ cruiser radio and then act all, “Who me?” about it. You two, I swear. Get your own show.


Jane meets up with Old Man Hoarder in the lobby and asks him to catalogue what is missing. She says they’ll work to get his stuff back to him, and he apologizes to her. He says he thought she wasn’t the nice lady, but really she is. Maura sees this, her eyes instantly soften and fill with big love for her lady. And she also surreptitiously films the scene. Man, she’s good at secret videoing, I now want to scroll through her camera roll to see what other videos of Jane she took on the sly. Ahem.

Lt. Cavanaugh breaks up the love fest, and sternly calls Jane into his office. Guess there was no reprimand for attempting to murder a suspect while he was in police custody then. But you’d better believe he comes down hard on Jane saying they need to investigate her. The woman has filed a police brutality complaint against Jane. She’s also posted a new mash-up of Mean Detective Jane. Really, Autotune? Even Jane knows that’s overdone.


Jane and Maura walk about to Jane’s place. See, mixing it up – just because Maura has the nice house doesn’t mean they always have to spend the night there. Jane laments her new Internet fame and Maura assures her its 79,000 hits are probably all Europeans. But then neighbors run from her and joggers taunt her on the street. Sure, the Boston metro area has 4.5 million people but two of the 79,000 watchers just happen to be on Jane’s block.

Things go from bad to Tommy Rizzoli inside as he’s still on Jane’s couch and drinking one of her Blue Moons (Side Note: In March MillerCoors, which makes Blue Moon, inked an exclusive deal with TNT/TBS to show its products. So much for Jane’s taste in beer. Sigh.) Tommy gets excited when the local news comes on, because he’s on it. And he’s talking about how mean Jane was as a kid and would beat up all the other kids. The Idiot Rizzoli strikes again. Take back your key, Jane.


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