“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.05): Pencil skirts and power tools and head kisses, oh my!

 
 

In the courthouse, Jane and Maura are waiting for Hope to show up. Korsak arrives, surprised Cavanaugh isn’t there yet. Seriously, you guys, why is no one keeping an eye on him? Like put a little bell on him like a cat, anything. Just don’t let the man who wanted to kill the man who killed his family less than 24 hours ago roam free with a firearm.

See, I told you so. Cavanaugh is beating the crap out of Paddy in the men’s bathroom. He’s pistol whipping him with no one around. Seriously, not Paddy’s lawyer, not Paddy’s police escort, no one is keeping an eye on him? All I can say is Cavanaugh is damn lucky no one has to pee right now.

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Jane, Maura and Frost come running in. But Cavanaugh is bound and determined to save taxpayers from having to pay for a lengthy trial. While it’s a thoughtful gesture, it’s possibly not as cost effective as he thinks. Because if he kills Paddy, then the state of Massachusetts would just have to pay for his first-degree murder trial instead. Yeah, so maybe put the gun down?

Maura, being a doctor, knows just what kind of injury that will hurt Paddy the most. So she goes up to her biological father, still in Cavanaugh’s clutches, and tells him the woman he has lived for all these years is about to be lost to him forever.  That’s right, Hope is about to testify against him in court. Guess $2.5 million in blood money doesn’t buy as much loyalty as you thought. The look on Paddy’s face convinces Cavanaugh to put down his gun and let justice and loneliness take its course.

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Paddy is lead back to court in handcuffs with a gaping head wound that I guess no one is going to talk about. Paddy passes Hope in the hallway and Maura gives a sly smile through it all. It’s not often you get congratulated for breaking up your parents, but in this case I think they’re definitely due.

Our gals head out to The Dirty Robber for another case-closed celebratory dinner date. But this time they also get to fete the reverse Parent Trapping of Maura’s biological family. Jane has her trusty Blue Moon at her side – seriously, is someone getting kickbacks for all this gratuitous product placement? We’ve seen this beer more than we’ve seen Jo Friday and Bass combined, and they’re supposed to be beloved pets.

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Regardless, Jane is using her Blue Moon to wash down some (begrudgingly admitted) tasty sweet potato fries. Maura’s tastes really are rubbing off on her. Next thing you know she’ll be ordering tofu scrambles with quinoa and edamame side salads. Jane says she can’t believe Cavanaugh almost killed Paddy. I can’t believe they didn’t arrest him for almost killing Paddy. Like, assault is still a crime, right? Even of a horrible murderous mob boss? Or at the very least put him on paid leave for a few days because that poor guy needs a vacation.

Maura says she knew, for a fact, Cavanaugh wasn’t going to pull the trigger. Jane is like, oh really, is there some study with a double-blind control theory to prove it? Maura pulls out her iPad all, well as a matter of fact there is this fascinating peer-reviewed study from the University of Reykjavik on violence in men’s rooms perpetrated by police veterans against crime bosses who killed their families. Jane narrows her eyes and is like, “Uh-uh!” and grabs her tablet. Yep, Maura was just shoe shopping.

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Jane teases Maura and says she won’t get back her iPad until she orders dessert and then everyone smiles and laughs because, ladies, you are most definitely taking a trip to poontown tonight.

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