“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.05): Pencil skirts and power tools and head kisses, oh my!


Hope asks what she can do for Maura, besides make tea. Maura says go back 37 years and sleep with a different man. Jane butts in like, “Whoa, whoa. I know he’s a mobster murderer and all, but he made you. So, there’s that.” She punctuates it with a group hug. Take a look at this amazing family portrait, folks. Yes, don’t worry, I saw the head kiss. The world saw the head kiss. Not a couple, my ass.


Jane and Maura walk in the next morning together, per usual, with freshly bought coffees in hand. Guess they didn’t bother to brew Hope’s not-so-magical beans. They’re still looking through evidence and Maura asks what she should do if Cavanaugh sees her. Jane says to use the old “menstrual cramps” excuse. I’m assuming this is because whenever Maura is having cramps she seeks Jane out for comfort and also to curse at her about their synced cycles.

The detectives crack Paddy’s code and discover he was only helping Cavanaugh as his CI to put the heat on the Columbians who were running all the cocaine at the time. By taking them out, Paddy could then corner the market and get his cocaine for cheaper. Man, as if Cavanaugh wasn’t pissed enough at Paddy. Wait, where is Cavanaugh?


They find him at The Dirty Robber trying to beat up Paddy, but instead getting a beat down himself. Jane restores order with nothing more than a raised index finger. Call it the Pointy Finger of Righteous Justice. They take him back to Maura’s place, where she’ll treat him to avoid a paper trail. Poor guy, he’s worried about getting blood on Maura’s couch.

But he’s also still furious and determined to kill Paddy with his bare hands. Buddy, that did not go so well just now. Your pulverized face proves that. How about another plan? Luckily, Maura has one. She pokes an unsuspecting Cavanaugh with a needle filled with a sedative. Jane looks at her like, “Note to self: Don’t make her angry. She’ll tranquilize a bitch.”


With Cavanaugh out, they call Hope to watch over him and administer more sedative so they can go out to do more investigating. OK, so, welcome to the terrible idea train. Sure, leave a homicidal man with the woman who had a relationship and baby with the man who killed his family. This will surely end well. Let’s sit and watch.

But you know what, who cares if it all ends in heartbreak and regret. Because Hope coming means Jane and Maura get to go and be grease monkeys in coveralls. They notice the victim had a welding kit in his garage, and decide to take a closer look under his car. This is not a drill, people. Det. Jane Rizzoli is handling power tools.


Jane cuts free the muffler, which had pieces of evidence from Cavanaugh’s house fire as well as photos and notes hidden inside. The evidence shows a witness saw a white male leave the house, which rules out the arson investigator who was black. The man also appeared to be on fire. Kind of like all of our pants after seeing Jane work those power tools under the car.


Surveillance footage of Paddy and his gang the day after the fire shows only one person with bandages or signs of burns – that’d be Paddy himself. Twist! No wait, that’s not the twist. The twist is Maura notices hemostatic trauma gauze on Paddy’s neck which means, Hope helped him afterward. TWIST! But not really, because we all know she had questionable ethics when it came to Paddy and accepting large anonymous financial donations.

Maura goes to confront her. Taking blood money from your mobster boyfriend is one thing. Patching him up after he blows up a cop’s wife and child, the same cop who is on the couch right now, is another. Also, talk about your family drama. The man dating your mother-in-law had his family killed by the man who is your biological father, and your biological mother helped him get away with it. Also, your mother-in-law practically turned you in to the man on the couch just last week. So no big family picnics in the near future then.


Hope claims Paddy swore he’d never hurt women and children. OK, but believe it or not, men are people, too. So perhaps a “Don’t kill people, period” promise would have been a better one to make. Maura tells Hope her deal with the devil has come due, and now she must testify against Paddy. And don’t forget, Hope, if Angry Maura doesn’t get her way, there’s always Mr. Needle.

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