“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (4.05): Pencil skirts and power tools and head kisses, oh my!


The judge, who while she may well be a friend of Dorothy is also seemingly a friend of Paddy, grants him bail and gives the prosecutor only 48 hours to regroup. Everyone is arms-crossed mad in the detectives unit. As Maura examines the bodies, Jane says Paddy is always eight chess moves ahead and that’s where Maura gets her IQ points. Um, what about the world renowned humanitarian doctor whose DNA she also shares? Also I’m glad she takes her dressing tips from Hope’s side of her DNA because all those smart skirts and leather jackets are totally working for everyone.


The prosecutor and Korsak run in with a break in the case. The retired arson investigator who died during a mugging recently was considering testifying against Paddy. He worked for Paddy back in the day, including possibly helping to set up the death of Cavanaugh ‘s family. But before he was apparently wacked he told investigators he had hard evidence against Paddy. Now they just have to find it. The prosecutor calls it his “hail Mary pass.” Oh, you’re using a sports analogy? Don’t worry, folks, the gay ladies got this.

Frost goes to interview his widow, but wants a woman with him to make her feel more comfortable. Jane is like, “But I don’t just make women feel more comfortable, I make them slip into a sex haze. You’ve heard my voice, right?” Maura says she’ll go instead, which isn’t much better because of the hair porn. You’ve seen her hair, right? So shiny, so so shiny.


While they’re at the house, Frost and Maura go through some of his old files. They can’t find anything, until Maura communes with her inner motorhead. The widow says her husband called their Ford Granada their retirement nest egg. Maura knows the Blue Book on that hunk of junk is only like $500. So what’s making it so valuable? They’re bringing it into the police shop to find out.

Frost tells Maura to go get some food, and also make sure her girlfriend eats, too. See, Frost is almost as big a Rizzles fan as Frankie. Maura is like, come on now, you know I feed my woman. And then she goes off to eat a tempeh bacon burger while Jane eats a real bacon burger.


But when they get to The Dirty Robber, Paddy and his crew are there eating greasy burgers and fries. This incenses Maura because how do we know that beef was locally sourced and grassfed? Maura storms over to him and says she wishes Jane had killed him. That’ll teach him to not eat organic.

It’s the dead of the night when Hope arrives at Maura’s place. Jane answers the door – obviously. They then all proceed to go into Maura’s closet to find her. Oh my God, is this the coming out intervention we’ve all been waiting for?


Hope goes over to hug Maura, but is rebuffed. Maura says, “I don’t really like to be hugged, when I’m very upset.” Oh, really? How interesting.


Jane knows better, of course. She takes Hope for a nice spot of tea in the kitchen, secure in her knowledge that she remains the only one who can soothe Maura in her moments of need. Jane asks Hope if Maura turned out how she’d imagined. Hope says better. Even though she ate all the Girl Scout cookies, Thin Mints first. I mean, the woman is a genius, she knows what order to eat her Girl Scout cookies.

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