In the autopsy room, Jane is enjoying her alone time with Maura until Det. Rafael Suave saunters in with Frankie following like a lost puppy behind him. He’s surprised Jane has never mentioned him to Maura. Why talk about your past mistakes when you’re living with perfection?
Jane admits she and Suave may have been in a bed together not sleeping in the past when they were partners. Maura says there’s no shame in this. Suave is attractive. Jane is attractive. Maura knows all about dating within her level, she’s dating Jane. But Jane goes on to explain that he was, essentially, her professional beard. When she was first starting out in the drug unit they had to pretend to be a couple and go to the clubs together. Ah-ha, now I see how Jane so effortlessly engages with your Deans and Caseys – training and professionalism.
Their bad blood started when he got her “C.I.” (that’s confidential informant to those of us who don’t speak cop) killed. OK, keep Suave away from Rondo. After sharing her sob story, Jane and Maura decide to play the Harlequin romance, Dickensian drama or Springer guest game with their lives. I’d say they’re more The L Word meets Cagney & Lacey, but that’s just me.
Just then, to push them closer to the Springer guest category, Maura’s half-sister with half of her original kidneys shows up. Maura demands Jane go with her to see her, because pushing your girlfriend around is a two-way street. Jane says she only will if Maura keeps wearing her Wellies. Leave it to gay ladies to put the rubbers on their feet.
Cailin, it turns out, wants to warn them about a scary men in black, but hopefully without the aliens and mind erasers, situation that happened to her and Maura’s mother, Hope, recently. She said some men in suits with dark energy came to her home and now Hope wants to whisk them back to London. So, maybe aliens after all?
Back in the office, Frost and Korsak are arguing over who can use the computer. Jane breaks up their fight because there’s only room for one Adorable Bickersons on this show. And then she asks Maura to lunch. I always assumed those two had a standing lunch date. I mean once you both eat out of the Dead Fridge together you’re bound for life, right? But instead of a nice restaurant Jane tricks her into white bagging it with her to check out Hope’s medical clinic. Maura is appalled because no wiener, deep-fried in cornmeal or not, should ever come between them.
They ask her about the scary dark energy men, who she says were her accountants. Aw, no aliens then? Hope poo-poos their worries, and says they’re rushing back to London because Cailin wants to go back. But Cailin, being a teenager and forever fickle, now wants to stay in Boston. Jane laments that Maura’s trait of breaking out into hives when lying was not passed down from Hope. And then gets into super protective mode because of how Hope has treated Maura. Which is to pretty much to ignore her until her other daughter needs her kidney. I’m with Jane on this one.