“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.11): Naked shower time for everyone


Now, of course, our gals are very used to showering together. It’s as natural to them as changing in front of each other in the car. So the prospect of disrobing and getting, um, wet together does not bother Jane. Rather it is the prospect of disrobing and getting wet in front of a bunch of men that has Jane throwing a fit. Like use a hazardous waste trash bin as a shower curtain kind of fit. Oh, man, there should be more code reds. This is more fun than the time Jane played hide-and-go seek behind Maura’s chair.

Jane is, however, a little insulted that the morgue tech didn’t once bather to check out her smoking hot bod. In fact he even yawns. Come on, gay or not, now that’s just rude. Maura says he is obviously not into women, because who could resist looking at that talk cool glass of Rizzoli? Suddenly Susie comes running up all concerned about her morgue tech boyfriend, Alex. Wait. He isn’t gay. Just attached and into needlework. No that there’s anything wrong with that.

Susie says they were keeping their relationship secret, but didn’t think it was a problem because there is no written policy on co-workers dating. Jane assures them there isn’t – because she’s been dating Maura forever and everyone is cool with it. Though Frost and Frankie seem slightly less cool with seeing Jane so out there and naked.

Also, so it turns out, Suzie and her boyfriend are into nudism. No, I am not kidding. No, really, still not kidding. They met at a nudist retreat and she invites Jane and Maura to go with them. Like a double date. At a nudist resort. With nude hiking. Yeah. Let’s all think about that visual for a couple of minutes. Remember what Jane looked like in that tiny towel? Maura sure does.

Things are happening with the actual case. So, in the interest of thoroughness we should discuss them. The rat poison was in the victim’s fancy coffee drink. The victim told Korsak’s ex he had blood on his hands. The code red was a false alarm because it was bacterial meningitis. And the barista at the coffee place is ridiculously good at remembering people’s drink orders.

At the Isles Estate, the whole Rizzoli clan is there because, well, aren’t they always? Tommy tells them he got the paternity test results back and he is indeed the baby daddy. Jane immediately schemes ways she and Maura can become the Cool Aunts.

Back on the case, Frankie helps by reading lips on the surveillance video of the coffee shop. He cracks the case wide open when he discovers the victim said, “I didn’t realize men in tights would kill people.” No, wait, it’s “Mennonites” killing people. That makes much more sense.

The team finds the woman the victim was arguing with, but it’s too late for her too. Damn those Mennonites. The lab tech comes in with another body, and seems excited that Jane and Maura will join him and Susie camping. Jane says she can’t because her skin burns so easily, but Maura blows her cover. She’s familiar with every inch of that olive Italian skin and it doesn’t burn that easily at all. 

But it seems Frankie wasn’t saying Mennonites at all. It was meningitis, which the new body brought into the morgue also had. They uncover a big plot to infect people with meningitis and then sue the pharmaceutical company when they get sick. A lawyer the two murder victims met in AA set the whole thing up, and did the killing. Case closed. Whew, glad that’s out of the way.

The entire Rizzoli clan has gathered – again – at the Isles Estate to welcome Lydia, her mom and Tommy Jr. It’s one big happy family. At Maura’s house, because she is also family. As they all sit down to dinner, Jane walks over to Maura all excited about the fun they’ll have being cool aunts to TJ.

Jane says he will be a Red Sox fan. And Maura wants to teach him how to fence. To which Jane answers, “If you do I’m going to teach him how to sew and knit and bead.” Then Maura gets all excited and says she’ll take the classes with her. And Jane says the thing gay couples have been saying to each other during awkward family dinners since the beginning of time: “Can we please just get through this meal.” Oh, these two.

And now onto your #gayzzoli tweets of the week. It’s like we were never even gone.

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