The next morning a smiley Maura arrives at work to make Jane jealous. But, she promises, she didn’t sleep with the Zombie Boner. In fact she hasn’t at all. The first time, she says, was because she hadn’t made her bed. Really? That’s like the old “I have to wash my hair” excuse. Jane teases it must have been “visible dust bunnies” that stopped her this time. No, it was The Gay. She didn’t sleep with Dennis because of homosexuality.
Jane tells her to “keep playing hard to get” – except with her. And then says her suspect “Bear” is there. Maura says she always wanted a good nickname. What, Dr. Smartypants isn’t good enough for you? Jane asks what’s wrong with “Poindexter?” Maura teases her back with “Rolly Poly Rizzoli” and they have a quick session of eye sex before the elevator arrives. Just think what they’ll do once they get in the elevator.
Jane implores Maura to come sit in on her interview, because a lesbian sometimes doesn’t know how to handle a big old Bear alone. Jane says she’s the one with the degree in forensic psychiatry. Maura insists she only did one clinical rotation in behavioral neuroscience. But Jane just drags her into the elevator instead because the quickie eye sex clearly wasn’t enough.
We won’t waste any more time on
Red Herring Bear, because another bronzed body pops up at the zoo. Maura gets busy sniffing out clues, again literally. Jane is worried about the TV crews catching her and calling her kooky. Aw, looking out for her lady.
The Hoyt Red Herring gets continued as well, but we won’t waste more time on it either. We’ll skip to how Jane asks Maura to narrow down the window when the victims were killed and instead she widens it. This prompts her to ask, “Did you make it larger because I said I hated Dennis’ hair?” Maura says, “No.” Jane gives her The Stare. Maura says, “Possibly.” Then Jane points out the hives beginning to form on her girlfriend’s neck. She knows that skin like, well, like it’s skin she sees naked and caresses tenderly on a regular basis.
But thoughts of lingering touches will have to wait because Jane gets a call about a commotion in the café. It’s Lydia who thinks she’s going into labor and refuses to go to a hospital. She says it’s because she wants the baby to be born with its family. But mostly it’s because she’s crazy. Tommy arrives, sees Lydia and vows to start using condoms. We’re just going to call him VD Rizzoli from now on.
Maura is alone in the autopsy room and gets scared when a Zombie Boner enters through the back door. Ahem. He says it’s his birthday and he wanted to relive the highs and lows of his last year. Then he asks Maura to dinner, who accepts. Backdoor then dinner? Well it better be a really nice dinner. Instead he takes her to his place, where she sees his broken lift and exposed shaft. Look, I’m not trying to be dirty. This stuff writes itself.