“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.09): And baby makes three

 
 

At the office, Frost has figured out a way to retrieve the victim’s last text after all. He zooms in on the concert footage. The boy bander sent the message while on stage. Yes, I know. But given how this show keeps trying to convince us that Jane and Maura aren’t totally gay for each other, stretching the bounds of reality is all in a day’s work.

His last text sounds like a booty call. Korsak bemoans the lack of romance in our digital world. Forst offers to show him how the new-fangled technologies work so he can have more luck texting for booty. Oh, you two with the flirting. Think of Frankie.

Senior Criminalist Chang has found some dried blood on the gun Frankie found. This leads to a discussion of the comicality of the word weenus. Maura like it, because it also rhymes with the word penis. And then Senior Criminalist Chang gets uncomfortable because it’s always weird to watch lesbians talk about weenies.

Side Note: Can we start a campaign to get more of Senior Criminalist Chang on the show? Because a) she’s awesome and b) I love how Maura has to say her full title each time she addresses her.

Frost has found a new lead. Another pop singer has checked herself into a sleazy hotel under an assumed name near where the victim was found. She is found inside, equally dead with drugs around her. Maura is brought in to investigate. Maura says she can’t be that famous because she’s never heard of her. Frost and Jane share a giggle because Dr. Smartypants didn’t exactly get her doctorate in pop culture. Then Jane gets her to leap to a conclusion when they find pictures of the pair together on a gossip site. Maura contends her conclusion was actually a question, given its upward inflection.

This makes Frost and Korsak clear out. They’re not about to stick around for the sexy talk that usually follows geeky grammar talk. Nothing gets Maura hotter than semantics. Jane calls it “female towel snapping.” Um, wouldn’t that require them to both be wet and naked in a shower? Just saying.

Back at the Isles Estate, Mama R is putting the final touches on the baby shower. She even has Lydia’s favorite cake – bacon chocolate. But before they can take a slice of the porky chocolatey artery clogger, Lydia spills the Boston baked beans about the baby’s Rizzoli daddies. And Mama R finds out that Jane and Maura knew, and didn’t tell her. Remember when I said it was a bad idea? Yep, bad idea.

After Red Herring No. 1, the detectives find out the Channel Street Boys were broke. And then they go after Red Herring No. 2. Then Maura states the obvious and Jane makes fun of her. Maura asks if it makes her feel better to mock her and Jane says yes. She then confesses that she’s frustrated. Guess all the female towel snapping from earlier didn’t lead anywhere. Finish what you started, Maura. Your woman needs relief.

Jane meets Frankie to check on how their mom is doing. And then she tells Maura that “we suck.” You are making this too easy, writers.

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