“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.03): When zombie boners attack!


Jane and company bust the bad guy thanks to a memory card hidden in the synthesizer. It was the artist who was taking credit for the victim’s artwork. Whew, now that we have the silly “crime plot” out of the way, Jane goes to confront Lt. Col. Beard Force. He says he has nothing to offer her and the only people he has room in his life for are the wounded vets. Jane is all, but you were the best beard ever and then leaves. Beard Force looks pensive, then we see his laptop wallpaper is a snapshot of him with Jane. So he still wants to beard for her, but reveals he was injured and has braces on his leg. Aw, Beardy. Jane doesn’t care about that. A wounded war veteran is an even better beard yet. Hey, don’t judge – you know it’s true.

Maura is waiting for Jane, because you always take your girlfriend to visit your beard. Jane’s all weepy because it’s hard when you let a good fake boyfriend get away. She tells Maura, “Let’s do something crazy.” And then they do a whole lot more than just sculpt together in the nude.

Now for your disappointed #gayzzoli tweets of the week. It’s hard to get it up with so much boner talk, isn’t it, girls?

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