“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.02): Is there a doctor in the family?


At the office, the detectives are piecing together a link between the dead floater, who was a hydrology professor, and the victim, who was a geology student. They realize they were in contact and trying to blow the cover on the yoga studio’s illegal fracking. Korsak is also trying to reach Jane. Frost theorizes it’s because they’re “yelling so loud they can’t hear their phones.” Yeah, he’s thinking about their epic future make-up sex session, too.

Back in the woods the ladies are still trying to escape. But Maura is barely limping along and has to stop. She gets Jane to remove her boot (like that hasn’t happened before), but what’s underneath is hard and smells like a dead body. I definitely hope that hasn’t happened before. Maura says Jane will have to perform emergency surgery on her or she’ll lose her leg. And then they bicker about that because even in limb-threatening situations, they can’t help but act like an old married couple.

Maura breaks the glass on Jane’s water-logged cellphone to use it as a scalpel. But before she has her start, she has the presence of mind to tell Jane to “take off your shirt.” Because even in limb-threatening situations, she wants to get Jane shirtless.

Jane says she can’t do it. She’s too freaked out. But Maura says “I really like my leg,” meaning “you also really like my leg” and so she finds the courage and starts. Jane makes the incision and Maura is OK until she’s not OK. And then passes out. I know this is a very serious situation and all, but when taken totally, totally out of context this shot could potentially be very sexy. I know, I know – inappropriate. But, um, sexy.

Jane cradles Maura in her lap, begging her to wake up. I love how her tenderness only comes out with Maura. That woman is her Achilles Heel and when hurt, she crumbles. A delirious Maura says she dreamt they were at camp, and she voted for Jane who won the Sweetest Camper Award again. And then the bad guys emerge. But so does Fierce Maura Protector Jane. Tank Top. Pointed gun. Cradled Maura. I’ll be in my bunk.

The baddies, with the very bad sensei, capture them and explain they’ve been mining the area for its natural resources. The sensei is an ex Army Ranger and Blackwater guy. So he doesn’t care about love and light, just cash and profits. It’s one of those, if it weren’t for those pesky kids we’d have gotten away with it Scooby Doo kind of plots. But good thing we don’t really care about things like plot.

He ties Jane and Maura into their car, and unleashed the reservoir water on them so they’ll drown in the spillway. I never knew yoga was this hazardous. As the water starts to fill their car, Jane fights to get out. Note to Director: Thank you, thank you for putting Jane in that white tank top and making her struggle against her seat belt. Just saying, as long as we’re being inappropriate.

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