“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.01): We can’t help who we love

 
 

Mama R tells Jane she and her father once went to see a marriage counselor. She says one thing that helped was when the doctor made them tell him the story of how they met. Jane replies, “Maura and I aren’t a couple, ma.” I know, Jane – it’s hard to admit the truth. But, believe me, once you admit to yourself and the world who you really are, life gets so much better. The closet is a terrible place to live, even if it is filled with many, many very butch pantsuits.

Mama R agrees and commits hug assault on Jane until she relents and agrees to tell the story of how she met Maura. Good job, ma, keeping our ’ship alive. Jane says she was working undercover as a hooker in the drug unit. She was trying to buy coffee and a doughnut at the cafeteria without money or an ID. Maura walked in, gave those long, tall legs in fishnets one look and rushed over to pay for Jane’s food. But not before she pointedly put on a latex glove. No glove, no love, ladies. Safety first.

Maura then suggested given Jane’s apparent “night work” she might want to eat some plain yogurt and leafy greens instead. And then they bickered, because even right from their very first meeting Jane and Maura bickered like an old married couple. Not a couple my ass.

Maura walks in to them laughing at the memory of it and is even more miffed. She says Jane shouldn’t be there during the investigation. Jane asks her what she told investigators and Maura says she can’t say. So Jane tells her ma to pack her stuff because she’s not staying there. Mama R chastises her with a firm, “Jane Clementine Rizzoli.” And then everyone’s heads swivel. Clementine? To quote Det. Jane Clementine Rizzoli: Really? REALLY?!

Mama R reluctantly agrees to leave, but not before Maura gives her that creepy grave drawing because she’s “always hated it.” Mama R leaves saying, “You’re like my daughter, too.” God, is she like the best PFLAG mom or what? And then Maura finally gives her that hug because man, has that woman earned a hug for all she’d done to try to get those two kids to make up.

The next morning at Casa Rizzoli, Jane is sleeping and we see a female hand gently reach up and play with her hair. Well, now the Rizzoli & Isles writers are just teasing us. They know we’re dying for the post-coital morning-after make-up sex scene between Jane and Maura. But instead it’s just Mama R there to remind Jane who isn’t waking up next to her instead.

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