“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (3.01): We can’t help who we love


Maura tells Mama R she should go home. When she balks, Maura tells her she’s “used to being alone.” First she lies about the hugging. Now she lies about being alone. Maura, I have to say, I believe Jane’s been a bad influence on you – in the best way possible.

Speaking of Jane, she is rushing to the hospital to talk with Maura. She wants to talk with her about the Internal Affairs in investigation and get her to lie about what happened. Well, clearly that shouldn’t be a problem. Maura says, “I’m sorry too” as soon as she sees her. But Jane doesn’t have time and wants to talk about the IA investigation instead. Ouch, gotta take 25 Girlfriend Points away for you for that move, babe. This of course pisses Maura off more and then the investigators show up to question her. So will she still lie for Jane? Come on, does anyone actually believe Maura would flip on Jane? Wait, I just heard how that sounded out loud. Giggity.

The investigators keep razzing Maura about Paddy’s “book,” which supposedly has all the names of Boston’s dirty cops, and other officials, in it. Maura snaps back that, “Jane isn’t dirty.” Well, not in that way at least. Giggity giggity, giggity goo. Paddy wakes up just enough to grab the lead IA investigator’s arm angrily and then whisper, “The book will keep you safe” at Maura. Hey, I just solved this case. Good thing no one really cares about the crime stuff.

Back at the Isles Estates, Jane pokes her head in and asks Mama R if her honey is home. The coast is clear, so Jane skulks in all, “My girlfriend is angry at me, ma!” Mama R offers her some nice, soothing tea because we all know how much gay ladies love their tea. She says the tea gets its flavor from Pandas, to which Jane says that means it’s grown in panda poop. Hm, I always prefer mine brewed from tiger urine.

Mama R says she’ll fix Jane something else instead and asks her what she wants to eat. Jane replies, “people.” No, no, no, Jane – you mean “person.” As in one person. As in Maura. As in I really don’t think that’s something you should tell your mom no matter how close you two are.

Jane whines some more. And also complains about the “cheery” drawing in Maura’s place of a woman crying at a grave. Mama R says it was drawn by one of Mother Isles’ students. I’m with Jane, that’s not exactly something you hang in your house without a good reason. More on that later. Mama R, who was gets her second denied hug of the day, this time from Jane, asks to pat her daughter’s knee instead and then does so with great vigor. Gosh she’s cute. I want her to be my mama and cook me big Italian meals. But maybe not move in with my girlfriend – we have to draw the line somewhere.

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