“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.14): You make me feel like dancing

Jane goes to see Maura in the autopsy room. Maura asks about Korsak, and then spouts some statistics about juvenile delinquents and broken homes. Jane calls it a “fun fact,” and we all know how much Jane loves Maura’s fun facts. Admit it, honey, you live for Maura’s fun facts.

Maura notices the victim was a natural blonde who went brunette. She says that’s odd because not too many blondes do that, except Keira Knightley and Drew Barrymore. Jane gives her that, “Been ogling the hot girls on the supermarket tabloids again?” look. Maura is so busted, and begs Jane not to tell people. I can see why Maura would be a Keira girl, kind of long and lean like her Jane. But Drew is an interesting choice, perhaps our little geek has a wild streak.

Maura discovers the mom has foot deformities from starting to dance at a young age. Jane admits to four years of “forced ballet,” which perks Maura’s interest quite a bit. Oh please, oh please, practice deep knee bends together later. Jane asks if the victim’s feet means she was a serious dancer as well, and Maura hedges. Then Jane gives her girlfriend a lesson in simple, affirmative or negative responses. Yes or no? And then has her practice, “Yes! No! Yes! No!” And her accompanying faces? Priceless.

Did everyone else’s minds just go to a naughty place? Just me? Whatever, you all are just too scared to admit it.

Jane finally gets Maura to say “yes,” and then calls the victim “pretty, in an artificial sort of way.” Trying to make your girlfriend jealous over a dead woman. Jane, you should be ashamed. Ashamed I say. The victim, it seems, has had extensive plastic surgery. Don’t go getting any ideas, Maura. You are perfect just the way you are.

Back in the office with Frost, he’s talking about how he doesn’t get dance. Jane executes a perfect twirl I’m sure there is a more technical ballet word for this, but it’s so adorable I am calling it a twirl because a butch doing a twirl makes my heart do just that. (p.s. I know it’s a pirouette. No angry comments, dance aficionados.)

Then she defends dancing and figure skating as sports to Frost, whose thoughts on the matter are somewhat less than evolved. So man “sports” like bowling and golfing are real sports but woman “sports” like dancing and skating aren’t. Someone needs to go to sensitivity training to earn his rainbow certificate immediately. Now I love ERA Jane here, but is it just me or was she bagging on dancing as a sport not too long ago. Guess prolonged exposure to Maura’s dancer’s body changed her tune. Ahem.

Speaking of dancers, video of some dance moms from hell getting into it with the victim convince Jane and Frost  it is time to go visit the dance studio again. Jane strolls in and I swear, the dance moms look at her like a Desperate Housewife looks at the pool boy. I mean, how could you not? The swagger, ladies, the swagger.

One of the dancers runs in late wearing shiny pink booty shorts and gets roundly chastised by the dance coach. OK, now I like the dance coach. Booty shorts have no place in a civilized society. Well, at least not on underage girls. Jane rightfully whispers to Frost, “Booty shorts are the gateway outfit.”

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