“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.13): Having a good-looking LLBFF is the best revenge

Back at the police department cafeteria, Mama Rizzoli is feeding Lolita Davidovich an iced tea. This brings the count of The L Word actresses in this episode up to two and the level of gayness on this series up to 11,000. But instead of playing Marina’s girlfriend Francesca, she’s Korsak’s ex Melody. She’s the one who got away, and took her son away from him as well. So, clearly, her popping up out of nowhere is going to be super good news. Also, poor Mama R. She was just starting to work her charms on that big lug.

The team starts looking for clues to Steve’s murder. But all they find are Angie Harmon’s high school eyebrows. Seriously, those things almost need their own zip code. Also nice job picking a senior quotes, Jane Rizzoli. Nothing future gay about this Dr. Seuss saying: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

The investigation turns up a list of random numbers in Steve’s phone, and a lot of phone calls to not-so random people, like plant activist Debbie. They go to find her and she’s dumpster diving for flora. She pops up like a Wack-a-Mole holding some very not alive looking rose bushes and insisting she wasn’t having an affair with Steve. In fact she says “of course not.” You know, on account of all the mean girls having a secret thing for Jane.

Just then Frost and Jane see a guy using a telephoto to snap pictures of them. They hurl the dead plants at him and find out he’s a private investigator hired by Debbie’s husband to see if she was having an affair. This is all fine and good, but can we talk about Jane’s plant-hurling form? I think it’s pretty good, though she could drop her shoulder a little.

Korsak is still talking with his ex in the cafeteria. She wants him to help her open up a yoga studio. Mama Rizzoli is not-listening, totally listening in the background. She’s all, “I could get a yoga body, too” to Korsak afterward. Oh, you two. Now I’m going to have to come up with a shipper name for them: Kozzoli? Vangela? Hm, needs work.

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