“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.09): Check your mate

The next morning Officer Duncan is back. He appears to be having one of those grade-school crushes where you pull the pigtail of the girl you like. Jane, who is understandably oblivious to the male mating rituals, doesn’t believe Frost and Korsak when they say he’s there for her. Hey, officer, you’re barking up the wrong tree – the wrong, gay tree. They tease Jane about it and she tells them to “Shut. Up.” I love it when she makes “shut up” two sentences.

Maura is having her own silly boy problems. Dr. Pompous has completed his autopsy and released the body without completing an examination of the victim’s teeth and without Maura’s consent. Maura says he works for her and then gets accused of pulling rank. Dr. Pompous remains true to his name and brings out the old “I went to Harvard” line. Maura has finally had enough and tells him to “Shut it!” Next time she should make it two sentences like Jane. Bossy Maura is definitely one of my favorite Mauras.

Mr. Nice Tits is in the interrogation room and being uncooperative, so Jane calls out his moobs. Looks like someone has a new nickname. When he finds out who the victim’s dad is, he tells them her dad was running for union rep before his “accident.” As they the detectives go to investigate the lead, Mr. Nice Moobs comes walking down the hall with the sensitivity trainer.

He has lodged a complaint about the whole “moobs” thing. Sexual harassers are so sensitive these days. Jane defuses the situation by spewing some more sensitivity speak about the cruelty of her words and the how we should all sing kumbaya while skipping through a field and picking daisies. And it actually works. Move over, Meryl Streep, all the acting awards now go to Det. Jane Rizzoli.

All the “strategically placing your head near cleavage”-awards go to Det. Jane Rizzoli, too. When they go to talk to the union rep, they find him dead with an ice pick to the heart and his secretary tied up in the closet. I gotta give Jane massive bonus points for not sneaking a peek. Though, once you’ve stared directly into The Rack of God, all else pales in comparison.

In the autopsy room, Maura tells Jane the union rep is the killer based on bite marks she left on his arm. Jane says Doyle could have still ordered the murder. Frosts texts that he has “something big” they both need to see. Come on, man, you know they don’t want to see that. No more unsolicited male junk in this episode – or ever – please.

Frost instead shows them footage the victim recorded while working. It shows the union rep getting paid off by not Doyle, but the corporate executive. Meet your new mob boss, same as the old mob moss – but more likely to get federal tax breaks. They rush to the company headquarters and find the exec with some broken fingers but Doyle already gone. Did I mention Jane shot out the glass front door? I swear, that woman is going to make me a card-carrying member of the NRA before this is all over.

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