“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.08): Maura kisses a boy and Jane doesn’t like it

The team tracks the victim’s brother back to the nail salon, where he is bringing a sack filled with of $2 million. For this troubles he gets shot in the chest by the female co-owner. Jane & co. burst in, guns blazing and takes her down with two shots to the chest. You know, I’m a pretty peace-loving kind of gal, but every time Det. Jane Rizzoli points a gun I become the world’s biggest Second Amendment fan.

The victim’s son is being blackmailed by the nail salon owners, who run a heroin trafficking business on the side. You know, mani, pedi, syringe full of horse – it’s a super full-service salon. They’ve kidnapped his wife and kid and are holding them ransom for the drug money. Maura discovers poultry mites on the arms of the female co-owner Jane popped, which means they’re probably using an empty poultry plant to process the heroin.

On the way out the door, Jane drops her bombshell neatly into Maura’s lap. That Lucky Bastard is really That Wanted for Questioning Bastard. Maura is taken aback at the thought that Jane is investigating her personal life. Honey, your girlfriend is a police detective. You’re lucky she hasn’t bugged your house.

Evildoers beware; Jane has officially deployed the Ponytail of Righteous Justice. They search the poultry plant, where Jane gets jumped by the male salon owner. I know it’s a life-and-death struggle and all, but I’m a little in appropriately jealous that this guy gets to slam Jane into a counter – twice. OK, so it’s not the good kind of slamming. But, still.

Jane gets the drop on him and Frost runs in to play clean up. Jane demands he tell her where the kidnapped family is in her sexy furious voice that makes me want to break laws just to hear it. But he tells her to go to hell. Bad decision, bad guy. Det. Jane Rizzoli will cut the hand off a bitch who doesn’t tell her what she needs to know. Do not test her, her girlfriend is sleeping with someone else. She is in no mood.

Family safely rescued and bad-guy’s hand still attached, Jane shows up at Maura’s door. Jane asks if she’s OK and Dr. Isles bursts into tears. Ruh-roh, we all know how Jane gets when Maura loses control of her amygdala and lacrimal gland connection. That Bastard is officially gone (so he’s therefore no longer lucky). Maura says she harbored a fugitive, so Jane should go ahead and arrest her. First the foot fetish, now a open request for some handcuff action. Get a room already, you two. Or, you know, use every room in Maura’s house.

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