“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.08): Maura kisses a boy and Jane doesn’t like it

Jane says Maura she doesn’t have to tell her and it’s none of her business. Maura says she wasn’t not telling her. Maura says That Lucky Bastard stopped by this morning. Jane says she heard he stopped by last night. And this, kids, is what we call a passive-aggressive couples fight.

Maura says he came to visit from Africa and “it’s complicated.” I don’t care what Facebook says, that is not a legitimate relationship status. Jane gets huffy and starts to leave muttering about not being able to help with Maura’s “complicated” love life. Maura’s phone buzzes, yet again, and Jane tells her she’ll leave her to read her love texts in private. Jealous Jane is my new favorite kind of Jane.

Maura tells her to wait and that it’s not a love text. She even shows her the phone. That Lucky Bastard has sent her a text in some African-sounding language which translates to, “Guess what we’d be doing if we were in Ethiopia right now?” Right, so I guess it really wasn’t a love text. That or it’s the worst sexting ever.

Maura texts back, with Jane standing there. Being ignored is not something Jane Rizzoli handles well, so she starts making outrageous statements to get Maura’s attention.

Jane: I killed Korsak with your scalpel.
Maura: [Nothing]
Jane: I contaminated all of your DNA samples.
Maura: [Nothing]
Jane: I snuck into your closet and I put all of your shoes in different boxes.
Maura: WHAT?

Yep, mention the closet and Maura freaks out immediately. I mean shoes, mention shoes and Maura freaks out immediately.

Maura apologizes and offers to look at Jane’s foot. Jane says she doesn’t think they’re close enough for that sort of thing anymore. But she relents and they proceed to take footsie to a whole other level. Maura says she has a severely ingrown toenail and needs a minor procedure. Jane tells Maura to do it. But then Korsak bursts in and ruins the moment.

Korsak, you’re supposed to be Jane’s wingman. Not cool, dude, not cool. Upon seeing Maura holding Jane’s foot, he says he’s not going to ask. Trust me, with all those late nights in the office he has seen more than just a little foot fondling between those two. He leaves them quickly with a knowing little giggle.

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