“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.05): Unzip me, baby, one more time

Frankie finds yet another case-solving clue in the dumpster, and it turns into a Rizzoli sibling hat trick because Tommy is cleared and not the thief after all. No lumps of coal in the stockings of the Rizzoli kids this year, Santa. Jane goes to check out what Frankie found and you’ve never seen anyone so happy to see a latex glove before. I could go for the easy lesbian safe-sex joke here, but I think we’re all above that, right? Who am I kidding? No glove, no love – amirite, ladies?

Back at the lab Jane is again being unJob-like and implores Maura to find prints inside the glove. She quips back, “This is not CSI: Boston, Jane.” Jane hovers anyway and Maura tells her, “I can’t concentrate.” Jane makes Maura too flustered to work just like Brittany makes Santana too flustered to remember her locker combination.

Jane doesn’t take the hint that her powerful sexual magnetism and insane bedroom voice are driving Maura to distraction. So Maura tells her to go apologize to Tommy and stares her down until she goes. Like, it’s a serious stare down. I’d call it eye sex, but it’s more like eye domination. I sure hope those two have a safe word.

While Jane is away making up with Tommy, Maura indeed goes all CSI: Boston on the gloves and finds a print. Our Mr. Interrogate Me was the killer all along. Though, his pick-up lines were criminal enough on their own to warrant prolonged incarceration.

Another case successfully solved, the Rizzolis are all back at Maura’s place. Korsak is there, too, helping to rehang the TV. He also helpfully diagnoses what Joe Friday’s licking is really all about. She wasn’t depressed (or taking cues from Jane and Maura’s extracurricular activities), but allergic to poultry. Now it’s Maura’s turn to get eye dominated. Jane even mimics Maura calling Joe Friday “withdrawn, restless and reluctant to go outside and urinate” for good measure. Oh, you two, just swap clothes again and make out, already.

Mama Rizzoli tells concurs and tells our bickering Boston Marrieds to “knock it off, you two.” But, naturally, they continue to spar as they sit down, side-by-side, for a big gay family dinner.

And now, on to your tweets. The #gayzzoli was truly strong with this one.

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