“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.03): Will you be my LLBFF?

Frost realizes the killer isn’t Navy because his pants aren’t creased, which is the first time ironing has ever solved a murder case. The killer was hawking energy drinks dressed as a sailor and they track him down at the company warehouse. Foot chase. Car door. Janie’s got a gun. Another bad guy bites the dust.

But wait, Giovanni is still in the picture. So Jane and Maura do what they should have done all along. They tell the truth. They go to the repair shop, where they find Mama Rizzoli’s unexpectedly pimped out ride finally ready to be picked up, take a deep breath and proceed to engage in the mother of all TGTGT.

Maura calls Jane “babe.” Jane pulls Maura close. Maura snuggles even closer. Together they look like they’re posing for the gayest prom ever. Jane calls Maura and her “LLBFFs.” Maura pronounces it “L-biffs.” Jane says it stands for “Life-Long Best Friends Forever.” We know what it really stands for. Giovanni doesn’t get it. Giovanni finally gets it. Giovanni asks, “So you guys are batting for the other team?” Then Jane says the truest thing to ever be true : “We are.” Yeah, you are.

But it’s one thing when gay people pretend to be straight people who are pretending to gay people. It’s another when the gay just shines through. When Maura offers to reimburse Giovanni for his misplaced romantic gifts, and then also offers to pay for the car repairs in full, Jane gives her a look and lets out a barely audible, “Oh, babe.”

Giovanni makes a last ditch effort, telling Maura he thought they were soul mates. And then he brings out that old chestnut, “I’ve always wanted to try it with two girls.” Has that worked on any lesbian couple in the history of ever? Maura says it was very nice of him to ask. Jane says it was very nice, too – but in that way that means the polar opposite. When he says to call him if they change their mind, Jane leans over and gives him the old, “We’ll let you know.” Which, as we all know, is lesbian code for “When hell freezes over.”

Oh, and kids, “LLBFF” is the new “roommates.” Tell your friends.

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