“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.02): And baby makes three

Jane and Frost go to check out the victim’s hotel room. They burst in, guns blazing. Every time Angie Harmon points her gun, lesbians everywhere take to their fainting couches. Smelling salts, STAT.

They bring in the woman’s fisherman husband for questioning. Jane tries to think of ways to push his buttons in interrogation and Frost helpfully suggests she be “good cop” and he be “black cop.” I like him so, so much more now that he isn’t vomiting every five seconds. Blah, blah, husband red herring, blah. Which, given that he is a fisherman, I guess is only appropriate.

Jane goes to see Maura and knows, instinctively, that something is wrong. Maura says nothing is wrong, but Jane says, “Tell that to your face.” After years and years of studying every inch of that beautiful face, she knows.

Turns out not only is the fisherman not the baby’s daddy, the woman is not the baby’s mama. Tracy, the now-identified Jane Doe, was a gestational surrogate. Maura knows because she had “quite robust reproductive organs.” Jane looks jealous for a split-second at Maura’s noticing of another woman’s reproductive organs.

But, hey, who has time to worry about reproductive organs when there’s a yard sale to be held. Mama Rizzoli had co-opted Jane’s block to tell off her old junk. Jane chases off a yuppie couple who only want to pay 50 cents for a pair of bookends, but will spring $1,049.99 on a stroller. Maura knows the exact price because she was trolling the online baby store. Jane gives her the, “Seriously, baby fever, again” look.

Then Maura picks up a small, fairly hideous painting. Before she can unleash her full and educated art critique on it Jane’s mom walks up and proudly proclaims herself the artist. So Maura buys it immediately. Ugly yard sale painting? $500. Overpaying to suck up to your future mother-in-law? Priceless.

Frost, wearing a muscle shirt in a blatant attempt to attract more than just lesbians to this show, gets all excited when he sees some sort of Transformersesque action figure. He offers $100, Maura talks him up to $120. Jane calls Maura a show-off and Maura gives Jane a little wink. And, as we all know, a wink is the eye sex equivalent of a quickie.

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