U.S. Army Private Abby Sherman is being saluted at the same banquet for her heroism, after she saved her entire platoon when they came under Taliban fire. Jane tells Maura that’s a real hero, before having to go onstage herself to be honored. At the podium she is humble and gracious, saying that she was just doing her job and there to remind people that sometimes the good guys still win. Maura needs no reminding, as she beams at her own private superhero on the stage.
Once off stage, Jane runs into old high school flame Casey Jones. They say he is a Lieutenant Colonel in the Delta Force, but we all know he’s really a Lt. Col. in the Beard Force. He apparently came all the way from Afghanistan to “catch up” with her. Jane says she’d love to catch up, too, then promptly runs away. The mind says yes, the body says no. Maybe Maura was onto something.
She instead finds her brother Frankie – guess he pulled through – to ask why Mama Rizzoli was at the ceremony but Papa Rizzoli wasn’t. When she doesn’t get an answer she asks the source, who manages a few strangled cat noises which translates to they’re getting a divorce.
Jane turns to Maura, who is too fixated on spit-cleaning a stain off of Jane’s tie. In public. Because all straight friends use their saliva to groom each other in a room full of people.
Lt. Col. Beard Force returns to get her a drink, but Jane seems more interested in talking to her fellow honoree, Private Sherman. They discuss battle scars. They hug. Wait, maybe Maura should start worrying about Abby instead. Once her Army brat is back with the drink, Jane’s more interested in seeing what Maura is up to across the room. Or, more precisely, who Maura is up to across the room. It’s her trauma surgeon Dr. Slucky – Slucky Bastard, more like it.
Hey, here’s a question: Do most straight friends throw this kind of tantrum when they see their best friend with another man? I’m just asking. Jane pulls Maura away from her date immediately. She complains about Maura’s choice of companion (i.e. anyone who is not Jane). And then Jane pulls a totally heterosexual “boy-girl sex is gross” face when Maura says Dr. Slucky Bastard was very tender “in the bed.”
Jane’s had enough straight sex talk, so she gets up to leave but Maura touches her tenderly on the arm and says, “You know, you do need to boost your immune system and sex is very good for that.” Don’t suggest it if you don’t intend on following through, lady.