“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (2.01): Absence makes the heart grow fonder


Then Maura marches off and grabs Jane’s police uniform. Playing dress up with your lady already? I approve. Jane whines that it “makes me look like a man.” Maura corrects her saying, “It makes you look butch. And you know how I love me some butch.” Well, that’s what she should have said.

Instead she says, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” Not that that’s any less gay. Maura plops down on the couch and Jane immediately puts her leg across her lap. Also, not gay.

The clever doctor tries to coax Jane to the ceremony by calls her a heroic flesh-and-blood reminder of the thin blue line. And if you had three minutes and 27 seconds until the first eye sex, you win a pony. No, wait, a unicorn. A big, gay unicorn.

Still, Jane isn’t convinced. So Maura gets up and with the firm air of someone who has done this countless times before says, “OK, the hard way.” For the love of God, ladies, take pictures.

And cue opening credits. Yes, that much subtext before the credits. This season is going to be awesome. Also, how long until some enterprising DJ remixes the Rizzoli & Isles theme into a favorite dance song at lesbian clubs everywhere?

At the ceremony, it looks like Maura succeeded with the hard way because Jane is in her dress blacks. This means Jane Rizzoli is in a tie. Hide yo femmes, butches.

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