“Rizzoli & Isles” Subtext Recap (1.08): Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Maura says she can handle Jane’s gun and every gay gal in the audiences wishes so much that was a euphemism. No, she means her actual gun. Except while Maura knows its magazine capacity, trigger pull weight and line of sight, she has never actually shot a gun. So Jane shows her how to hold her gun. Still not a euphemism, still so wish it was.

So we’re going to just pretend it is. Maura tells Jane she is a fast learner. I bet she is, dirty girl. Jane empties her chamber. Sheesh, that was fast. She slowly hands it over as Maura who grips it ever so gently. Jane tells her exactly where to wrap her left hand. Hey, you need to be really specific with first timers. And then she explains the delicate yet essential mechanics of the push and pull. Oh, if I had a dime for every time a gal pulled when she should have pushed.

Maura is eager, tentative and dying to please. Jane obliges, telling her “You look good.” Remember ladies, proper encouragement is key. Praise is essential in the learning process. I’d also like to note that throughout the scene the gun has been uncocked, making this (as my friend The Linster astutely put it) the ultimate "uncock tease." Yep, just how lesbians like it.

Jane finally decides Maura knows enough to handle the loaded gun on her own, but says she is only letting her “because I’m tired.” Just like a butch. And just like a femme, Maura promptly asks her is she looks “badass.” Admittedly, she kind of does. Wait, are we sure this whole gun thing wasn’t a euphemism?

The next morning, Maura scolds Jane’s nosy detective partners for being too loud and waking the woman she loves from much needed sleep. Do not make the fierce woman in heels slap a bitch, OK? Back at the office, Maura complains to Jane about still being in the same wrinkled dress as the day before. That’s what you get when you spend the night learning how to hold your girlfriend’s piece, honey.

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