“Rizzoli & Isles” Retro Subtext Recap (1.07): Last one there is a rotten egg

The race begins and soon after Jane starts to get blisters (we won’t mention the cameltoe). But then they come across a runner down – like really down, like dead. The geeky teen marathon volunteer wants to radio for help but Jane flashes her badge (it’s on a chain around her neck, in case you were wondering where she kept it in that spandex getup) and contains the situation.

If the 38,000 racers and 400,000 onlookers find out there’s a gunman on the loose, there will be panic, trampling and much death. She calls in to headquarters to alert Korsak and Frost (no word on where, exactly, she was keeping her phone though).

Of course, convincing a geeky teen boy to be quiet is one thing, getting Dr. Maura Isles to play along is quite another. First Jane wants her to pretend the dead guy isn’t dead, then Jane wants her to perform the autopsy in the field. Maura blurts out in exasperation “just give me a Leatherman and some duct tape and I’m all good to go.” Too. Many. Jokes.

Actually, she is good to go and the autopsy is going well until another runner goes down. That’s two dead bodies. Someone find Dr. Isles some more duct tape. Jane argues with the race director (who happens to be Balthazar Getty – loved you in Young Guns II, dude) about the governor demanding they stop the race and alert the public. She tells him to “man up,” which while standing in the presence of Det. Jane Rizzoli is no easy task. Yeah, Balthazar, she just pulled the Stigmata Card on you.

Maura tells Jane she is fearless for picking a fight with the governor. Jane says she isn’t fearless, but that “we don’t give in to fear.” Maura agrees and says if we do we “end up dying a little bit every day.” So, I think what they’re trying to say is, if they don’t make out right now the terrorists win. Hey, I’m just trying to read between the lines.

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