“Rizzoli & Isles” Retro Subtext Recap (1.05): Way to class up the joint


Jane whines that she wants to wear her work clothes to the cocktail attire-only event. Maura says she’ll buy her a dress. Playing dress up with Jane is like a regular thing now on this show. The look on Maura’s face admiring her spiffed up lady is definitely not to be missed. Nor are their legs in those heels.

Proving her embarrassing comments prophetic, Jane first uses Maura as a human shield to pick her wedgie and then double-fists the “good” (read again: really expensive) champagne. Plus she freaks out when whole fish is served for dinner. We get it, this is what happens when you bring the peasants in to feast amid the royals. Did I mention Jane even gets squirted by the fish?

I’d say the entire sequence was hackneyed and clichéd, but I just love Angie Harmon’s many variations on the “Jizz in My Pants” face.

At the party they find out that Sumner and Adam’s wife were having an affair, but they were actively involved in said affair while he was being killed. So there go suspects No. 1 and 2. But, wait a minute, the results from those weird, not sea salt affected fibers on the cashmere sweater came back. Garrett was using subpar materials because his company is broke. Come on down, suspect No. 3. This, obviously, makes Maura upset because not only did she date a guy, she also dated a murderous guy. What can I say, lots of girls go through a phase in college. It’s an experimental time.

Jane goes to check up on her. Maura says she should have seen it and Jane tells her she did: “There was a reason that you didn’t commit to him after college, there is a reason that you’re holding back now.” Yep, it’s called being super gay.

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